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Care and Feeding: Two On Dogs
Apr. 3rd, 2025 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minoanmissI Want to Kick My Neighbor Out of the Camp Carpool Because She Doesn’t Like Dogs
If she responds this way to friendly face kisses, how will she be around kids?( Read more... )
My Brother’s Dog Viciously Attacked My 6-Year-Old. His Reaction Has Left Me Shaken. I responded as any father would, but he’s somehow mad at me? ( Read more... )
If she responds this way to friendly face kisses, how will she be around kids?( Read more... )
My Brother’s Dog Viciously Attacked My 6-Year-Old. His Reaction Has Left Me Shaken. I responded as any father would, but he’s somehow mad at me? ( Read more... )
minoanmissMy Sister Claims I Cast a “Dark Cloud” Over the Birth of Her Baby. She’s Out of Her Mind.
Content advisory: death of a pet (not explicit)
( Read more... )
Content advisory: death of a pet (not explicit)
( Read more... )
minoanmissA reader is left wondering how to patch things up with irked neighbors after an understandably preoccupied friend left the reader’s dog alone to bark all night.
By Philip Galanes
Jan. 3, 2024
I visited my family overseas for three weeks. It was our first Christmas together in 10 years. A close friend offered to take my dog while I was away. During the first week, my friend’s mother died. I offered to make other arrangements for my dog, but she said it wasn’t necessary. By the second week, she was struggling. She asked if she could return the dog to my house and visit twice a day. I asked another person to help her so my dog would get more visits and my friend could deal with her loss. Then, my neighbors complained that my dog was barking all night. I asked my close friend to spend one night at my house. She declined and insinuated that I was to blame for the situation. Her inability to commit has caused a rift with my neighbors. How can I remedy the problem with the neighbors? (I’m OK just moving on with my friend and not accepting offers of help from her again.)
( Read more... )
By Philip Galanes
Jan. 3, 2024
I visited my family overseas for three weeks. It was our first Christmas together in 10 years. A close friend offered to take my dog while I was away. During the first week, my friend’s mother died. I offered to make other arrangements for my dog, but she said it wasn’t necessary. By the second week, she was struggling. She asked if she could return the dog to my house and visit twice a day. I asked another person to help her so my dog would get more visits and my friend could deal with her loss. Then, my neighbors complained that my dog was barking all night. I asked my close friend to spend one night at my house. She declined and insinuated that I was to blame for the situation. Her inability to commit has caused a rift with my neighbors. How can I remedy the problem with the neighbors? (I’m OK just moving on with my friend and not accepting offers of help from her again.)
( Read more... )
petrea_mitchellFirst letter here.
DEAR ABBY: I live in an area with a large number of dog owners who frequent the same walking trails I do. On several occasions, I have encountered dogs that are off-leash and running ahead of their owners. Sometimes the owner isn’t even in sight.
On several occasions, dogs have jumped up on me, almost knocking me to the ground. I’m in my late 60s, under 5 feet and weigh 105 pounds. I could easily be injured. I was once attacked and bitten.
My question is this: What’s the best thing to say to these dog owners when they finally appear? The last time it happened, the owner happily said to her DOG, “I know you’re excited, but ...” The rest I couldn’t hear because she had already passed me on the trail.
Abby, she saw her dog jump up on me and never even acknowledged me. I don’t want to respond angrily or sarcastically, but in a friendly yet firm manner. -- WALKER IN WASHINGTON
( CW: Potential pet harm )
DEAR ABBY: I live in an area with a large number of dog owners who frequent the same walking trails I do. On several occasions, I have encountered dogs that are off-leash and running ahead of their owners. Sometimes the owner isn’t even in sight.
On several occasions, dogs have jumped up on me, almost knocking me to the ground. I’m in my late 60s, under 5 feet and weigh 105 pounds. I could easily be injured. I was once attacked and bitten.
My question is this: What’s the best thing to say to these dog owners when they finally appear? The last time it happened, the owner happily said to her DOG, “I know you’re excited, but ...” The rest I couldn’t hear because she had already passed me on the trail.
Abby, she saw her dog jump up on me and never even acknowledged me. I don’t want to respond angrily or sarcastically, but in a friendly yet firm manner. -- WALKER IN WASHINGTON
( CW: Potential pet harm )
Slate Advice: Two on Housing
Oct. 25th, 2022 02:17 pmminoanmissFrom Pay Dirt: Our Horrible Neighbors Are Forcing Us to Sell Our Home ( Read more... )
From Dear Prudence: Help! We’re Getting a Free House. My Only Concern Is the Pedophile Next Door. ( Read more... )
From Dear Prudence: Help! We’re Getting a Free House. My Only Concern Is the Pedophile Next Door. ( Read more... )
This question does not feel real
Aug. 17th, 2022 03:37 pmysobelFrom Ask Amy:
Dear Amy: I am an old grandma with 10 step-grandchildren, the youngest of which is 18 and in her first year of college.
That child receives a substantial scholarship from me for her college.
Of the 10 grandkids, she is the only one who does not follow me on my cat’s Instagram account, which has over 5,000 followers.
She does follow her other grandma on Instagram, which is perplexing to me.
Not that I am begging for followers, but I think it’s a charitable and loving thing to do, especially when I have been generous and loving toward her.
I have not discussed this with her mother.
Am I wrong to think that would be a loving thing for her to do?
It’s just a cat account for Pete’s sake!
— Upset Grandmother
( ??? )
Dear Amy: I am an old grandma with 10 step-grandchildren, the youngest of which is 18 and in her first year of college.
That child receives a substantial scholarship from me for her college.
Of the 10 grandkids, she is the only one who does not follow me on my cat’s Instagram account, which has over 5,000 followers.
She does follow her other grandma on Instagram, which is perplexing to me.
Not that I am begging for followers, but I think it’s a charitable and loving thing to do, especially when I have been generous and loving toward her.
I have not discussed this with her mother.
Am I wrong to think that would be a loving thing for her to do?
It’s just a cat account for Pete’s sake!
— Upset Grandmother
( ??? )
Carolyn Hax: Puppy v. Parents
Nov. 30th, 2021 05:24 pmceretaHello, Carolyn: My kids have been asking for a dog for several years, and we finally got a family puppy. We love this dog more than we ever expected!
Unfortunately, we live about 600 miles from my parents, who want nothing to do with dogs. They do, however, want to spend time with us and often complain that we don't visit enough. They don't want to house our dog, which I understand, but we can't afford a hotel room or a kennel for all the trips they want us to make.
We can't seem to come to an agreement. I say they shouldn't try to guilt us for having a life outside of them. They feel we should have never gotten a dog knowing they live so far away and can't stand dogs. What do you think?
— A Dog Convert
A Dog Convert: I think what’s truly unfortunate is that your parents think your household is about them. Wow.
It’s also unfortunate they somehow have you thinking theirs is a normal set of expectations that, to some degree, you’re obliged to find ways to address.
There is no “agreement” here to “come to,” because your parents don’t have any say in how you run your own household. None. Zero.
They also don’t have any say in how often you travel to see them, except to let you know whether and for how long you are welcome. And to limit guests to human-only, which is totally their prerogative.
If they really do want to see you, and if they’re unwilling or unable to do the bulk of the traveling themselves, then they have incentives available to them that aren’t attempts to micromanage you. They could offer you kennel money, for example, or to pay for a hotel for visits both ways. They could just trust you to do your best to come see them. They could be such pleasant company that you stretch yourselves financially to travel whenever you can.
Apparently, instead, they skipped the first page in the Unwritten Manual of Hospitality, which notes in 72-point type that if you want to see people, then don’t complain about them, to them, with any frequency that can be described as “often.”
Seriously, parents. This is not a Zodiac cipher.
My advice to you is as follows:
1. Stop arguing with people about things that aren’t their business. Any and all people, but start with your parents.
2. Actually that’s it. See No. 1.
But there are a few other things to consider that can make it all easier. First, develop a canine network of care. People you meet through your dog who love dogs can be an excellent resource when you want to travel. You dog-sit theirs, they dog-sit yours, opportunities multiply like bald spots in your backyard.
Second, if this is but the tip of the guiltberg, then please run your family dynamic by a good therapist. Boundaries work.
Third, scritch that puppy. Except for the face they give you when they want a walk, they don’t do guilt. No wonder you’re a convert.
Fourth — and pardon the layman’s overreach — introduce yourself to Merrill Markoe: merrillmarkoe.com/enough-about-you-my-explanation-of-narcissism. “It’s not enough for a narcissist to be the center of his own world, he must also be the center of yours.” Good dog. [Woof.]
Unfortunately, we live about 600 miles from my parents, who want nothing to do with dogs. They do, however, want to spend time with us and often complain that we don't visit enough. They don't want to house our dog, which I understand, but we can't afford a hotel room or a kennel for all the trips they want us to make.
We can't seem to come to an agreement. I say they shouldn't try to guilt us for having a life outside of them. They feel we should have never gotten a dog knowing they live so far away and can't stand dogs. What do you think?
— A Dog Convert
A Dog Convert: I think what’s truly unfortunate is that your parents think your household is about them. Wow.
It’s also unfortunate they somehow have you thinking theirs is a normal set of expectations that, to some degree, you’re obliged to find ways to address.
There is no “agreement” here to “come to,” because your parents don’t have any say in how you run your own household. None. Zero.
They also don’t have any say in how often you travel to see them, except to let you know whether and for how long you are welcome. And to limit guests to human-only, which is totally their prerogative.
If they really do want to see you, and if they’re unwilling or unable to do the bulk of the traveling themselves, then they have incentives available to them that aren’t attempts to micromanage you. They could offer you kennel money, for example, or to pay for a hotel for visits both ways. They could just trust you to do your best to come see them. They could be such pleasant company that you stretch yourselves financially to travel whenever you can.
Apparently, instead, they skipped the first page in the Unwritten Manual of Hospitality, which notes in 72-point type that if you want to see people, then don’t complain about them, to them, with any frequency that can be described as “often.”
Seriously, parents. This is not a Zodiac cipher.
My advice to you is as follows:
1. Stop arguing with people about things that aren’t their business. Any and all people, but start with your parents.
2. Actually that’s it. See No. 1.
But there are a few other things to consider that can make it all easier. First, develop a canine network of care. People you meet through your dog who love dogs can be an excellent resource when you want to travel. You dog-sit theirs, they dog-sit yours, opportunities multiply like bald spots in your backyard.
Second, if this is but the tip of the guiltberg, then please run your family dynamic by a good therapist. Boundaries work.
Third, scritch that puppy. Except for the face they give you when they want a walk, they don’t do guilt. No wonder you’re a convert.
Fourth — and pardon the layman’s overreach — introduce yourself to Merrill Markoe: merrillmarkoe.com/enough-about-you-my-explanation-of-narcissism. “It’s not enough for a narcissist to be the center of his own world, he must also be the center of yours.” Good dog. [Woof.]
ermingardenI moved into an apartment four years ago and was shocked to find that a neighbor runs her dog in our common hallway. Three or four times a day, she throws a ball down the hall, and the dog barks and chases it. It’s extremely noisy. A while ago, she agreed not to do this between noon and 5 p.m. But I’ve been working from home lately, and I’m often interrupted by the noise. I’m averse to contacting building management, but she’s been belligerent about requests to stop playing in the hallway. Advice? –NEIGHBOR
I’m confused. Why have you tolerated this behavior for four years? (And why did you negotiate a “quiet period” that coincided with hours you used to work at an office?) Sometimes, compromise only normalizes bad behavior. Unless there is a compelling explanation for your neighbor’s ridiculous use of your hallway as a dog run, report her to building management tomorrow morning.
I’m confused. Why have you tolerated this behavior for four years? (And why did you negotiate a “quiet period” that coincided with hours you used to work at an office?) Sometimes, compromise only normalizes bad behavior. Unless there is a compelling explanation for your neighbor’s ridiculous use of your hallway as a dog run, report her to building management tomorrow morning.
Care and Feeding: Bird is Not the Word
Mar. 23rd, 2021 11:12 amminoanmissI Don’t Want Dead Aunt Mildred’s Pet Parakeet
But she bequeathed it to my daughter.
My Aunt Mildred has just passed. She was in her late 80s, it was in her sleep, we’re all at peace about it.
Here’s the problem: In her will, she left my 14-year-old daughter her horrible bird. I am biased, because I grew up in New York and see all birds as rats with wings, but I never imagined one would wind up living and pooping in my house.
It’s a monk parakeet, which the internet tells me can live from 15 to 20 years (“Hawk” is, as far as we can tell, about 5 years old.) I don’t want it in my house, and I really don’t want to inherit it when my daughter leaves for college. What do I do?
—Shudder
Dear Shudder,
As someone else who would never allow a bird to live in her home, I understand your aversion. Nor am I overly hung up on Aunt Mildred’s wishes here, as she is dead. She shouldn’t have bought a bird that lives for 20 years in her 80s if she wanted to control all possible outcomes.
Does your daughter want the bird? If—after she has been brought up to speed on the amount of care she will have to provide the bird, minus any parental assistance, financial or otherwise—she still wants the bird, then I think you have a bird now. I’m very sorry.
If your daughter does not want the bird or the responsibilities that come with it, take it to a bird sanctuary, where it can live with many, many other exotic birds that old people have willed to their squeamish children and grandchildren. Don’t sell it to a pet store.
Please keep me posted. Please do not send me the bird. I do not want it.
But she bequeathed it to my daughter.
My Aunt Mildred has just passed. She was in her late 80s, it was in her sleep, we’re all at peace about it.
Here’s the problem: In her will, she left my 14-year-old daughter her horrible bird. I am biased, because I grew up in New York and see all birds as rats with wings, but I never imagined one would wind up living and pooping in my house.
It’s a monk parakeet, which the internet tells me can live from 15 to 20 years (“Hawk” is, as far as we can tell, about 5 years old.) I don’t want it in my house, and I really don’t want to inherit it when my daughter leaves for college. What do I do?
—Shudder
Dear Shudder,
As someone else who would never allow a bird to live in her home, I understand your aversion. Nor am I overly hung up on Aunt Mildred’s wishes here, as she is dead. She shouldn’t have bought a bird that lives for 20 years in her 80s if she wanted to control all possible outcomes.
Does your daughter want the bird? If—after she has been brought up to speed on the amount of care she will have to provide the bird, minus any parental assistance, financial or otherwise—she still wants the bird, then I think you have a bird now. I’m very sorry.
If your daughter does not want the bird or the responsibilities that come with it, take it to a bird sanctuary, where it can live with many, many other exotic birds that old people have willed to their squeamish children and grandchildren. Don’t sell it to a pet store.
Please keep me posted. Please do not send me the bird. I do not want it.
Jealous of the cat
May. 5th, 2020 04:31 pmconulyDEAR ABBY: My husband loves our cat too much. He buys Miss Kitty special treats, pets her, talks nicely to her, plants quick kisses on the top of her head and lets her sit on his lap while he watches TV for hours. It's like I'm nonexistent. I wish he would be that nice to me.
He's a good provider and, when we are away from the house, I have his full attention. I'm resenting this queen of our home. What should I do? I'd like to take her back to the animal shelter. It was my sorry idea to adopt her. -- IN SECOND PLACE
( Read more... )
He's a good provider and, when we are away from the house, I have his full attention. I'm resenting this queen of our home. What should I do? I'd like to take her back to the animal shelter. It was my sorry idea to adopt her. -- IN SECOND PLACE
( Read more... )
minoanmissBecause we can all use something less fraught.
https://www.askamanager.org/2020/03/here-are-your-animal-coworkers.html
https://www.askamanager.org/2020/03/here-are-your-animal-coworkers.html
minoanmissDo you have any tips on keeping a cat off your holiday decorations? I knew I was in for trouble when my 6-month-old kitten’s eyes seemed to light up upon spotting my Christmas tree in the living room. ( Read more... )
minoanmiss[brief background: company had already hired Jane. Company moved to dog-friendly building and thus announced to employees that dogs could come in. Jane has a dog phobia.]
( Read more... )
(Also, remember the haunted hotel letter? There's an update to that one in the same post.
( Read more... )
(Also, remember the haunted hotel letter? There's an update to that one in the same post.
laurajvDear Prudence,
My ex remarried within a year of our divorce to a woman eight years younger. ( Read more... )
My ex remarried within a year of our divorce to a woman eight years younger. ( Read more... )
Dear Annie: Dogs Everywhere
Jan. 2nd, 2019 02:09 pmceretaDear Annie: I love most dogs and have had pets all my life, but there are times and places in which pets should not accompany their owners. Of course, trained service dogs are the exception.
I am seeing so many dogs being exposed to crowded stores and outdoor festivals and sales. They are generally on leashes, but some breeds are so protective of their owners that they can become hard to control when another dog is present. I recently saw a woman who had her medium-sized dog riding in her grocery cart -- a cart that others would eventually be using for food.
I think that most dogs are more comfortable in their home environment and should not be exposed to crowded areas. It will probably elicit some angry responses, but please give your thoughts on leaving the pets at home. -- Don't Bring Fido
Dear Don't Bring Fido: If one's dog is well-behaved, it is a nice treat for the owner, the dog and the people around them -- the ones who like dogs, anyway -- for the dog to go on adult excursions once in a while. However, I totally understand your concern, and I agree that dogs should not be put into food carts.
There are benefits to being around friendly dogs. Petting them is a known stress soother. It feels good and can lower your blood pressure. Studies have shown that petting a dog or cat helps your body release a relaxation hormone and cuts down on levels of a stress hormone. So why not wag more and bark less? I say that because having a dog at a social event gives people the chance to pet the dog when maybe they can't afford a dog or live in an apartment that does not allow dogs. Dogs are domestic and social animals that love to be with their owners.
I am seeing so many dogs being exposed to crowded stores and outdoor festivals and sales. They are generally on leashes, but some breeds are so protective of their owners that they can become hard to control when another dog is present. I recently saw a woman who had her medium-sized dog riding in her grocery cart -- a cart that others would eventually be using for food.
I think that most dogs are more comfortable in their home environment and should not be exposed to crowded areas. It will probably elicit some angry responses, but please give your thoughts on leaving the pets at home. -- Don't Bring Fido
Dear Don't Bring Fido: If one's dog is well-behaved, it is a nice treat for the owner, the dog and the people around them -- the ones who like dogs, anyway -- for the dog to go on adult excursions once in a while. However, I totally understand your concern, and I agree that dogs should not be put into food carts.
There are benefits to being around friendly dogs. Petting them is a known stress soother. It feels good and can lower your blood pressure. Studies have shown that petting a dog or cat helps your body release a relaxation hormone and cuts down on levels of a stress hormone. So why not wag more and bark less? I say that because having a dog at a social event gives people the chance to pet the dog when maybe they can't afford a dog or live in an apartment that does not allow dogs. Dogs are domestic and social animals that love to be with their owners.
Dear Prudence:
Jul. 10th, 2018 07:01 pmceretaDear Prudence,
My mother is retired and found a purpose in fostering rescue dogs. Unfortunately, my fiancée and her young daughter are both profoundly allergic. My mother gets offended because she can’t bring her “puppers” over to visit me and we will not come over and stay with her. Last Christmas we had to drive 200 miles to stay in an uncomfortable motel room and go out to an expensive restaurant so we could see her. My mother complains she doesn’t see me and calls my fiancée a “dog hater.” This is fraying my relationship with my mother. She is irrational about these dogs: They are pets, not people, and certainly not as important as her soon-to-be grandchild! My mother refuses to get a dog-sitter and thinks my fiancée and her daughter should just take some allergy pills. This situation is only going to get worse when I marry my wife and adopt this little girl. How do I get through to her?
—Canine Complications
The good news, at least, is that you have been able to keep your fiancée and stepdaughter safe by keeping the dogs out of your home—you’re doing well so far. “Mom, I know these rescue dogs mean a lot to you, and I’m happy for you and proud of the work you’ve done to help them. My fiancée and her daughter don’t have the kind of allergies that can be treated by over-the-counter pills. It’s not safe for them to spend time around dogs. It has nothing to do with their feelings for dogs, and it’s not something they have any control over. I’m not asking you to like this situation, but it’s not ever going to be possible for them to spend time in the same house as the dogs, so I hope you can find a way to reconcile yourself to it. I would hate for you to miss out on time with your new granddaughter. What I need from you is to stop trying to make them feel guilty for having severe allergies and suggest they just get over it or take pills that don’t work. They’re not physically capable of compromising on this issue, so whenever you revisit the topic, it’s unproductive and unkind. I don’t think that’s how you want to treat them, so I’m asking you to stop. I hope you do.”
My mother is retired and found a purpose in fostering rescue dogs. Unfortunately, my fiancée and her young daughter are both profoundly allergic. My mother gets offended because she can’t bring her “puppers” over to visit me and we will not come over and stay with her. Last Christmas we had to drive 200 miles to stay in an uncomfortable motel room and go out to an expensive restaurant so we could see her. My mother complains she doesn’t see me and calls my fiancée a “dog hater.” This is fraying my relationship with my mother. She is irrational about these dogs: They are pets, not people, and certainly not as important as her soon-to-be grandchild! My mother refuses to get a dog-sitter and thinks my fiancée and her daughter should just take some allergy pills. This situation is only going to get worse when I marry my wife and adopt this little girl. How do I get through to her?
—Canine Complications
The good news, at least, is that you have been able to keep your fiancée and stepdaughter safe by keeping the dogs out of your home—you’re doing well so far. “Mom, I know these rescue dogs mean a lot to you, and I’m happy for you and proud of the work you’ve done to help them. My fiancée and her daughter don’t have the kind of allergies that can be treated by over-the-counter pills. It’s not safe for them to spend time around dogs. It has nothing to do with their feelings for dogs, and it’s not something they have any control over. I’m not asking you to like this situation, but it’s not ever going to be possible for them to spend time in the same house as the dogs, so I hope you can find a way to reconcile yourself to it. I would hate for you to miss out on time with your new granddaughter. What I need from you is to stop trying to make them feel guilty for having severe allergies and suggest they just get over it or take pills that don’t work. They’re not physically capable of compromising on this issue, so whenever you revisit the topic, it’s unproductive and unkind. I don’t think that’s how you want to treat them, so I’m asking you to stop. I hope you do.”
lilyseaQ. Pets are not family, are they?: My childless sister “Sally” and I are close but are having a disagreement. Sally lives several hours away, and my 8-year-old daughter and I try to visit for the weekend about once per month. The problem is that my daughter has severe pet allergies, and Sally has two cats and a small terrier.
Though she keeps her house as clean as possible, the very presence of these pets causes my daughter to sneeze, congest, and sometimes break out in hives. I’ve repeatedly asked Sally to either get rid of them or keep them outside during our visits, but Sally claims that though she loves her niece, she can’t keep her pets outside all weekend because the cats are “indoor only,” the dog is too little to stay outside, and coyotes are a danger. She also told me that I was out of line to ask. Was I? They’re only animals, after all, and her niece is family. When she visits us she boards them or gets a sitter, so I don’t see why she can’t do the same when we visit. She’s also suggested that my daughter take allergy medication, but I find that out of line. Is it? How can we resolve this?
A: The most important thing to do here, I think, is to make sure you don’t let a conversation about reasonable accommodation turn into one about whether your sister’s pets “really count” as family. (I’m on your side in the sense that I think a human child’s health is paramount here, but I just don’t think it will be useful to turn this into a litigation on your respective reproductive choices.)
It’s absolutely fair of you to say that the present situation is dangerous to your daughter’s health. It’s also fair that your sister is anxious about leaving her dog outside for an entire weekend, especially if she lives in a coyote-heavy area. If she were willing and able to hire a pet sitter during your visits, that would be an ideal solution, but since she isn’t, you should advocate for your daughter’s health and stay in a nearby hotel so that she can get a full night’s sleep without having difficulty breathing.
Incidentally, unless your daughter has an issue with allergy medication, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have some at the ready with you, given that she might have a reaction to someone else’s pet at any time. That doesn’t mean she’ll be suddenly able to sleep comfortably in a house with three small furry animals, but there’s nothing wrong with giving someone allergy medicine for an allergy attack.
Though she keeps her house as clean as possible, the very presence of these pets causes my daughter to sneeze, congest, and sometimes break out in hives. I’ve repeatedly asked Sally to either get rid of them or keep them outside during our visits, but Sally claims that though she loves her niece, she can’t keep her pets outside all weekend because the cats are “indoor only,” the dog is too little to stay outside, and coyotes are a danger. She also told me that I was out of line to ask. Was I? They’re only animals, after all, and her niece is family. When she visits us she boards them or gets a sitter, so I don’t see why she can’t do the same when we visit. She’s also suggested that my daughter take allergy medication, but I find that out of line. Is it? How can we resolve this?
A: The most important thing to do here, I think, is to make sure you don’t let a conversation about reasonable accommodation turn into one about whether your sister’s pets “really count” as family. (I’m on your side in the sense that I think a human child’s health is paramount here, but I just don’t think it will be useful to turn this into a litigation on your respective reproductive choices.)
It’s absolutely fair of you to say that the present situation is dangerous to your daughter’s health. It’s also fair that your sister is anxious about leaving her dog outside for an entire weekend, especially if she lives in a coyote-heavy area. If she were willing and able to hire a pet sitter during your visits, that would be an ideal solution, but since she isn’t, you should advocate for your daughter’s health and stay in a nearby hotel so that she can get a full night’s sleep without having difficulty breathing.
Incidentally, unless your daughter has an issue with allergy medication, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have some at the ready with you, given that she might have a reaction to someone else’s pet at any time. That doesn’t mean she’ll be suddenly able to sleep comfortably in a house with three small furry animals, but there’s nothing wrong with giving someone allergy medicine for an allergy attack.
