agonyaunt | Entries tagged with dogs

Dear Care and Feeding,
Recently, my daughter gave me a hard time about coming to help for two weeks when I was going to be laid up with major surgery. When her husband arrived, my husband—who has cognitive issues—let the dog loose by accident and the dog bit my son-in-law (the dog had never seen him before) and there was one puncture (no stitches). Well, my daughter reported me and the dog to animal control, but she didn’t tell us until after she left town. I now feel I cannot trust her, and my husband and I feel she did this intentionally. Am I wrong to want to have nothing to do with her? The dog is a sweetheart and my constant companion.
—Disgusted Parent

Dear Disgusted Parent,
Is it crappy that your daughter reported you and the dog after she skipped town? Yes, it is—based on your version of the incident, which is all I have to go on, I think she should have talked things out with you first. However, I get the sense that your relationship with her was damaged long before this visit took place, because most adult children would’ve handled the situation differently—this feels like retaliation for more than just a frightened nip. Either way, you should contact her and try to figure out why she took such drastic action without warning. If you don’t receive a satisfactory answer, then I would have no problem with you choosing to love her from a distance for a while. Once you’ve cooled down, if this relationship is important to you, then you should take time to repair it, even if it means going to a family therapist together to figure out where all these negative emotions are coming from. I understand your anger, but holding onto it forever will only damage you in the long run. Speak to her when you’re ready, and hopefully cooler heads will prevail.

conuly

1. Dear Prudence,

When I was a child I was brutally attacked by a dog. It left permanent scars on my body and on my psyche. I have been in therapy but that is not a cure-all. I no longer have sobbing fits if I see a dog, but I am still phobic about them. I cross the street if I see one and don’t go to people’s houses if they have one. I find it easier to lie and say I have allergies because if I tell people the truth, they quiz me or try to prove their dogs are the exception. In college my roommate, knowing my past, dropped a puppy in my lap and I had a panic attack.

I am married to a great man and pregnant with a little boy. He grew up with dogs, and his mother and sister do not accept our refusal to get one despite knowing my past. I have overheard my mother-in-law calling me “vindictive” and “selfish” for denying my husband a dog. My sister has told me that I need to “process my trauma.” I haven’t told my husband about these comments yet. I don’t know if I should because he will read the riot act to them and refuse to go over for the holidays. He wants to protect me but I know they will put it on me.

I am stressed at work, stressed over the baby, and sick of this dog issue. How do I handle these people? What can I say to them to get them to understand?

( Read more... )

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2. Dear Care and Feeding,

My new neighbor started off our first interaction in June on a very rude note, and now she’s about to be part of the kids’ August camp carpool list, and I feel like I need an apology and an explanation before we drive each other’s kids. I haven’t mentioned this to the other moms in the neighborhood, but I will have to bring it up if I want to find someone to cover her spot.

What happened: We have a friendly, loving, high-energy golden retriever. He’s just out of the puppy stage, so he’s just as energetic but doesn’t know his own size. He’s never hurt anyone, he’s just very excitable. I was walking him through the neighborhood when he slipped off his leash and ran up to her, giving face kisses and wanting to be petted. I assured her that she was friendly, but she replied “I’m not” and shoved him off of her, hard, at me, and basically threw herself into her front door. We haven’t spoken since, and I’m worried if she’s like this with dogs, she’s like this with kids. I also would like an apology. How do I start this, or at least get her out of this group where she has access to my kid, if she is like this?

—Kid and Dog Mom

( Read more... )

lemonsharks

Dear Amy: We are starting to have trouble with family members who are dog-lovers.

( rude and thoughtless dog-lovers with poorly trained and dangerous animals )

colorwheel

( So now we can’t even say hi to a service dog? )

cereta

Dear Annie: I love most dogs and have had pets all my life, but there are times and places in which pets should not accompany their owners. Of course, trained service dogs are the exception.

I am seeing so many dogs being exposed to crowded stores and outdoor festivals and sales. They are generally on leashes, but some breeds are so protective of their owners that they can become hard to control when another dog is present. I recently saw a woman who had her medium-sized dog riding in her grocery cart -- a cart that others would eventually be using for food.

I think that most dogs are more comfortable in their home environment and should not be exposed to crowded areas. It will probably elicit some angry responses, but please give your thoughts on leaving the pets at home. -- Don't Bring Fido

Dear Don't Bring Fido: If one's dog is well-behaved, it is a nice treat for the owner, the dog and the people around them -- the ones who like dogs, anyway -- for the dog to go on adult excursions once in a while. However, I totally understand your concern, and I agree that dogs should not be put into food carts.

There are benefits to being around friendly dogs. Petting them is a known stress soother. It feels good and can lower your blood pressure. Studies have shown that petting a dog or cat helps your body release a relaxation hormone and cuts down on levels of a stress hormone. So why not wag more and bark less? I say that because having a dog at a social event gives people the chance to pet the dog when maybe they can't afford a dog or live in an apartment that does not allow dogs. Dogs are domestic and social animals that love to be with their owners.

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Agony Aunt

Entries tagged with dogs

a weird one from Care & Feeding

Two letters with dogs

Ask Amy: ever more entitled dog people

The Gentle Butch: "So now we can’t even say hi to a service dog?"

Dear Annie: Dogs Everywhere

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