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minoanmissThis one is brutal. I'm putting even the title under the cut. Involves reproduction, abortion, and cruelty. ( Read more... )
minoanmissAsk A Manager, 13 Feb 2024:
I was rejected from a role for not answering an interview question. I had all the skills they asked for, and the recruiter and hiring manager loved me. ( Read more... )
I was rejected from a role for not answering an interview question. I had all the skills they asked for, and the recruiter and hiring manager loved me. ( Read more... )
minoanmiss[slightly misleading title -- LW has also gotten comments on, for instance, the fit of her jeans]
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minoanmissContent advisory: blatant sexual harassment of minors, plus one of said minors condoning the harassment. ( Read more... )
minoanmissDear How to Do It,
I’ve recently become “official” with a guy I’ve been with for a few months (hetero, in our 20s). He’s a little bro-y, you could say—he was in a frat, his friends are mostly loud men, he likes beer and football on the weekends, and so on. Not my usual type, but he’s quite sweet and attentive to me behind closed doors, especially in bed. However, there’s one thing that keeps getting to me: He often says things about other women that are crude at best and misogynistic at worst. ( Read more... )
I’ve recently become “official” with a guy I’ve been with for a few months (hetero, in our 20s). He’s a little bro-y, you could say—he was in a frat, his friends are mostly loud men, he likes beer and football on the weekends, and so on. Not my usual type, but he’s quite sweet and attentive to me behind closed doors, especially in bed. However, there’s one thing that keeps getting to me: He often says things about other women that are crude at best and misogynistic at worst. ( Read more... )
jadelennoxDear Abby: My husband of 10 years is in the process of retiring from the military and is now re-evaluating procedures and policies of everything -- including our marriage. I'm trying to respect his needs in an effort to help him make sense of things. However, there are times when I feel some of his new rules are hurtful or harmful and need to be negotiated or evaluated. (By the way, in general, I do not encourage or support the idea of rules in marriage aside from fidelity; communication should be the rule in my opinion, but I digress.)
His latest rule is that I need to be covered when getting ready in the morning (It's not proper to be so comfortable naked, and if you respect me, you would do as I ask). He said he thinks I look amazing now, but then he added: Think about when you are your grandmother's age; you won't be pleasant to look at.
As his partner, I feel we should make each other feel comfortable in the buff, and it's harmful to ask our partner to cover up for any reason in the sanctity of our home. We have no children and live alone, and I have always gotten ready in the mornings this way, behind closed doors, where no one but my husband can see me. Abby, can you guide us to resolution on this matter? -- NOTHING TO HIDE IN GEORGIA
Dear Nothing: As a military man, your husband is used to rules and structure, which are necessary in that environment. This, however, is civilian life. Before allowing him to make any more rules or institute a change in dress code (undress code), allow me to guide you directly to the office of a licensed marriage counselor because, unless there is something you have omitted from your letter, your husband is a mile off base.
His latest rule is that I need to be covered when getting ready in the morning (It's not proper to be so comfortable naked, and if you respect me, you would do as I ask). He said he thinks I look amazing now, but then he added: Think about when you are your grandmother's age; you won't be pleasant to look at.
As his partner, I feel we should make each other feel comfortable in the buff, and it's harmful to ask our partner to cover up for any reason in the sanctity of our home. We have no children and live alone, and I have always gotten ready in the mornings this way, behind closed doors, where no one but my husband can see me. Abby, can you guide us to resolution on this matter? -- NOTHING TO HIDE IN GEORGIA
Dear Nothing: As a military man, your husband is used to rules and structure, which are necessary in that environment. This, however, is civilian life. Before allowing him to make any more rules or institute a change in dress code (undress code), allow me to guide you directly to the office of a licensed marriage counselor because, unless there is something you have omitted from your letter, your husband is a mile off base.
lilyseaDEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to get married, and my fiancé and I have come to an impasse over something that I don’t think is such a big deal. I grew up in a household where everybody had chores, but we also had a housekeeper who came once a week to do heavy cleaning. It was so helpful having Mrs. Lancaster with us. She became part of the family. I want the same thing for my new home. Of course, both of us should do chores, but I believe having extra help will ensure we keep everything organized and clean. My husband thinks this is excessive and a waste of money. He grew up in a household where no extra help was ever there. They couldn’t afford it. We can. Plus, I work 80 hours a week usually. I need the help. How can I get my fiancé to see that? -- Clean Up, Rochester, New York
DEAR CLEAN UP: This is one of many value-driven conversations you must have with your fiancé to determine whether the two of you can compromise when needed to build your life together. While it may sound clichéd, it is the little things in a marriage that help to make your bond stronger or erode it entirely.
Since your husband-to-be does not see the need for a housekeeper, a compromise might be to have someone come in once a month in the beginning. Suggest this as an acknowledgment that you know he doesn’t see eye to eye with you on this point but that you know you need help in order to keep your home in the manner you believe appropriate.
DEAR CLEAN UP: This is one of many value-driven conversations you must have with your fiancé to determine whether the two of you can compromise when needed to build your life together. While it may sound clichéd, it is the little things in a marriage that help to make your bond stronger or erode it entirely.
Since your husband-to-be does not see the need for a housekeeper, a compromise might be to have someone come in once a month in the beginning. Suggest this as an acknowledgment that you know he doesn’t see eye to eye with you on this point but that you know you need help in order to keep your home in the manner you believe appropriate.
ceretaDear Amy: While I could write a novel on how I feel, I will keep this short and sweet.
I am a 39-year-old man, and a dietitian. Health is very important to me.
My problem is that women in my dating range have been married and had multiple kids and have let their bodies go to waste.
Before you say "go younger," let me say that the "new age" or "modern woman" does nothing for me.
I have zero attraction to tattoos, drugs, and women who want to hit the clubs.
So now I have zero options, and the loss of hope has taken a major toll on my health.
I am VERY attractive and one of the silliest and most thoughtful guys you could ever meet, but at 5 feet 6 inches tall I am thinking my height is causing me to come up short in their eyes (on first impressions). Pun intended.
-- Born in the Wrong Century
Dear Wrong: Dude, I don't think height is really your problem.
But it might be.
Because you are so specific with your desires, trigger happy with first impressions, and shallow in your own judgments, the only surefire way for you to determine if your height is causing you to be a dating misfit would be for you to grow a few inches taller.
Get on that, and get back to me.
I am a 39-year-old man, and a dietitian. Health is very important to me.
My problem is that women in my dating range have been married and had multiple kids and have let their bodies go to waste.
Before you say "go younger," let me say that the "new age" or "modern woman" does nothing for me.
I have zero attraction to tattoos, drugs, and women who want to hit the clubs.
So now I have zero options, and the loss of hope has taken a major toll on my health.
I am VERY attractive and one of the silliest and most thoughtful guys you could ever meet, but at 5 feet 6 inches tall I am thinking my height is causing me to come up short in their eyes (on first impressions). Pun intended.
-- Born in the Wrong Century
Dear Wrong: Dude, I don't think height is really your problem.
But it might be.
Because you are so specific with your desires, trigger happy with first impressions, and shallow in your own judgments, the only surefire way for you to determine if your height is causing you to be a dating misfit would be for you to grow a few inches taller.
Get on that, and get back to me.
Carolyn Hax: WTF?
Oct. 17th, 2016 07:15 amceretaDear Carolyn: I am a stepparent to a teenage girl who has recently moved in with us while her mom works in another city. So last week I got buttonholed by another kid’s parent for one of those, “You’re not a real parent, so I just wanted to let you know . . . ” talks. This other parent’s son had asked the Kid out to a school dance, Kid said, “Thanks, but no,” and asked out her crush. (He said yes, my door hinges thank him.)
According to the other parent, if she didn’t want to go with the first boy who asked her, then she can’t go at all and should stay at home knitting her nun’s habit or something.
Is this a thing? Or is this other parent just being a tool because her son got his feelings hurt?
Dance With the One That Brought You?: No, it’s not a thing, she can dance if she wants to.
Also not a thing: “those, ‘You’re not a real parent, so I just wanted to let you know . . . ’ talks.” Even if they are a thing, please treat them as if they are not, because the surest way to alienate your fellow parents as you negotiate this newish role is to approach them as if you are the eye-rolling rebel to their monolithic sense of superiority. They’re doing their thing; you’re doing yours. Take each exchange as a conversation unto itself.
According to the other parent, if she didn’t want to go with the first boy who asked her, then she can’t go at all and should stay at home knitting her nun’s habit or something.
Is this a thing? Or is this other parent just being a tool because her son got his feelings hurt?
Dance With the One That Brought You?: No, it’s not a thing, she can dance if she wants to.
Also not a thing: “those, ‘You’re not a real parent, so I just wanted to let you know . . . ’ talks.” Even if they are a thing, please treat them as if they are not, because the surest way to alienate your fellow parents as you negotiate this newish role is to approach them as if you are the eye-rolling rebel to their monolithic sense of superiority. They’re doing their thing; you’re doing yours. Take each exchange as a conversation unto itself.
