minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
minoanmiss) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
agonyaunt2024-06-28 03:56 am
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2024-06-28 03:56 am
Entry tags:
Dear Prudence: My Cat & I Are Being Stalked by The Child Next Door
About a year ago, I moved into a unit on a shared driveway. I’m at the back, and up the front is a family with two primary-school age kids. They often play on the driveway in front of my place, which is fine as none of us have big backyards and I don’t park there. The kids are friendly, and while I don’t know the parents well enough to know their names, we’ll chat if we’re both coming in and out of our houses at the same time. This is all normal and good, part of having neighbors—but there is a problem I’m not sure how to handle.
I have an indoor cat, and the younger kid, she’s maybe 7, is very, very keen on him. Several times a week, she comes and stares at him through the front window, which I find partially cute (I also loved cats as a little kid) and partially a bit invasive (I am at home in my private space and she’s just standing there staring in). Sometimes she leaves cat litter and food that I can’t use on the front step, and if I don’t take it inside immediately, the next time I’m on my front step, it’s obviously been moved as if she thinks I didn’t see it. This has ramped up lately, and I’m feeling the lack of privacy. It is uncomfortable having a kid stare at me while I make dinner or sit on the couch or work out! I know I need to chat to her parents and say it’s gotten to be a bit much, but they don’t have a heap of space themselves, and I’m aware that when you’re 7, hearing no can be pretty upsetting. I don’t want to be unkind to this family, but I also don’t want to close the curtains any time I’m home. There is a box of cat supplies I didn’t ask for and can’t use on my front step right now.
—Leave Me and My Cat Alone
Would you be comfortable setting aside 15 minutes every afternoon (maybe right when the kid comes home from school?) or an hour once a week, or whatever works best for you as “cat time”? If so, why don’t you say something to the parents like, “I’ve noticed Peyton really loves to come look at Mr. Whiskers! It can be a little startling to see her standing there looking in the window so often, but I’d love to set up a regular time for her to come over and see him instead. She could even play with him or help me feed him if she’s interested and you’re comfortable with that.”
Then tell the 7-year-old the plan and give her a child-friendly reminder not to hang out on your porch like a little stalker every day. For example, “When you see that I’ve hung the picture of Mr. Whiskers on the door, you are free to sit on the porch and watch him or come in to visit him. If it’s not there, please play in front of your house and come back another time.” If this works out, everyone will be happy, and you’ll be training a future pet-sitter in the process.
I have an indoor cat, and the younger kid, she’s maybe 7, is very, very keen on him. Several times a week, she comes and stares at him through the front window, which I find partially cute (I also loved cats as a little kid) and partially a bit invasive (I am at home in my private space and she’s just standing there staring in). Sometimes she leaves cat litter and food that I can’t use on the front step, and if I don’t take it inside immediately, the next time I’m on my front step, it’s obviously been moved as if she thinks I didn’t see it. This has ramped up lately, and I’m feeling the lack of privacy. It is uncomfortable having a kid stare at me while I make dinner or sit on the couch or work out! I know I need to chat to her parents and say it’s gotten to be a bit much, but they don’t have a heap of space themselves, and I’m aware that when you’re 7, hearing no can be pretty upsetting. I don’t want to be unkind to this family, but I also don’t want to close the curtains any time I’m home. There is a box of cat supplies I didn’t ask for and can’t use on my front step right now.
—Leave Me and My Cat Alone
Would you be comfortable setting aside 15 minutes every afternoon (maybe right when the kid comes home from school?) or an hour once a week, or whatever works best for you as “cat time”? If so, why don’t you say something to the parents like, “I’ve noticed Peyton really loves to come look at Mr. Whiskers! It can be a little startling to see her standing there looking in the window so often, but I’d love to set up a regular time for her to come over and see him instead. She could even play with him or help me feed him if she’s interested and you’re comfortable with that.”
Then tell the 7-year-old the plan and give her a child-friendly reminder not to hang out on your porch like a little stalker every day. For example, “When you see that I’ve hung the picture of Mr. Whiskers on the door, you are free to sit on the porch and watch him or come in to visit him. If it’s not there, please play in front of your house and come back another time.” If this works out, everyone will be happy, and you’ll be training a future pet-sitter in the process.