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agonyaunt2021-08-20 11:05 am
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2021-08-20 11:05 am
Entry tags:
Dear Prudence: Animal Harm
Content advisory: Animal Harm discussed.
Help! My Neighbors Are Abusing Their Dogs.
Our neighbors are abusing their dogs, and I’m not quite sure what to do. We recently moved into a new neighborhood from out-of-state. All the backyards have lower, chain-link fences and almost every household has dogs. The neighbors next door have three dogs, two of whom are very aggressive and one that seems more standoff-ish but not mean. I have witnessed adults kicking the dogs when they are barking or smacking them in the face with their hands (no wonder why they’re mean). They also have a little girl who’s probably around 3-to-4 years old. She is the worst … she pulls tails and ears, kicks, tries to drag them around by their legs and smacks them. I am terrified that those dogs are going to turn around and attack her at some point. When I’m in the backyard with my pup, I will stop her from hurting her dogs, but I can’t police this all the time. I’ve seen the dogs turn around snarling at her several times now, and she just screams back at them and hits them again.
I’m worried about the dogs and the prevention of the (in my eyes, inevitable) attack of this child by the dogs, but I am not sure there would be any physical evidence of abuse if I called the authorities, as the dogs look healthy and don’t have injuries. This is making me sick to my stomach on a daily basis. What should I do?
—Neighbors Abusing Their Dogs
When I put out the call for help answering your question, the most complete response came from Monica Potts, who happens to be a co-founder of an animal rescue in Arkansas that focuses on providing spay and neuter assistance. I’ll turn it over to her:
I have advice about this! First off: besides being a bad idea for other reasons, calling the police or CPS might not do any good because there might not be anything illegal happening. There are a lot of states where it wouldn’t be illegal to hit or kick your dog… and it’s hard to tell if the child is really in imminent danger. So it’ll probably get no results for the child’s or dogs’ sake, in addition to being bad for the family.
I would say my first advice would be to seek out a local humane society, SPCA, or shelter, if there is one. There may not be! Lots of more rural areas don’t have one. She should try to find time to sit down with the directors, someone on the board, etc., and ask for advice. If she can get that far, they can come up with a plan to approach the owners. She can find out why they have the dogs, whether they want them, whether they could use help with them, and how amenable they might be to working with a rescue for rehoming them. If they’re on board, it’s better for everyone.
It’s always a good idea not to be judgmental in these situations. People have a wide range of ideas on how to treat dogs. The main thing is that she feels the child is in danger, and there might just be an education, outreach, or assistance component that will help resolve that. If there isn’t a shelter or nonprofit, she should find whatever local group of people DO care about dogs there. There’s bound to be some, and there’s probably a Facebook lost and found group. They’ll know the contours, and maybe how to help the family and the dogs.
(Monica also thoughtfully added that she assumed you were a woman and may be incorrect.)
I realize most people don’t love being approached by their neighbors—however respectfully—about what they’re doing wrong, and someone who hits dogs is probably not going to be super patient or mature and might respond even more poorly than the average person. So all I’d add to Monica’s advice is that you may want to develop some sort of a rapport first. Tell them their kid is cute when you see them in the driveway. Offer them some lemons off your tree. Or whatever. Maybe you can even find out how they got the dogs in the first place, and why they keep them.
But after you establish a relationship with the neighbors, I think the key thing is to still go to the experts, as Monica suggested—people who have been thinking about these sorts of treacherous and possibly dangerous pet situations much longer than you or I have, and will have experience dealing with neglectful and abusive owners. Several people suggested discreetly taking video so that the organization you approach can have a clear picture of a behavior you’re describing, and I think that’s a wise idea if you feel you can do it safely and without drawing attention to yourself.
On a hopeful note, when it comes to the child’s safety,odin_kelly said, “I want to note that from the description, the dogs are actually being good with her, giving clear warnings and not (yet) biting. They may well get pushed too far and snap, but they have been *good* dogs so far.”
I hope that’s helpful. Good luck, and thanks for looking out for your neighborhood animals and kids.
Help! My Neighbors Are Abusing Their Dogs.
Our neighbors are abusing their dogs, and I’m not quite sure what to do. We recently moved into a new neighborhood from out-of-state. All the backyards have lower, chain-link fences and almost every household has dogs. The neighbors next door have three dogs, two of whom are very aggressive and one that seems more standoff-ish but not mean. I have witnessed adults kicking the dogs when they are barking or smacking them in the face with their hands (no wonder why they’re mean). They also have a little girl who’s probably around 3-to-4 years old. She is the worst … she pulls tails and ears, kicks, tries to drag them around by their legs and smacks them. I am terrified that those dogs are going to turn around and attack her at some point. When I’m in the backyard with my pup, I will stop her from hurting her dogs, but I can’t police this all the time. I’ve seen the dogs turn around snarling at her several times now, and she just screams back at them and hits them again.
I’m worried about the dogs and the prevention of the (in my eyes, inevitable) attack of this child by the dogs, but I am not sure there would be any physical evidence of abuse if I called the authorities, as the dogs look healthy and don’t have injuries. This is making me sick to my stomach on a daily basis. What should I do?
—Neighbors Abusing Their Dogs
When I put out the call for help answering your question, the most complete response came from Monica Potts, who happens to be a co-founder of an animal rescue in Arkansas that focuses on providing spay and neuter assistance. I’ll turn it over to her:
I have advice about this! First off: besides being a bad idea for other reasons, calling the police or CPS might not do any good because there might not be anything illegal happening. There are a lot of states where it wouldn’t be illegal to hit or kick your dog… and it’s hard to tell if the child is really in imminent danger. So it’ll probably get no results for the child’s or dogs’ sake, in addition to being bad for the family.
I would say my first advice would be to seek out a local humane society, SPCA, or shelter, if there is one. There may not be! Lots of more rural areas don’t have one. She should try to find time to sit down with the directors, someone on the board, etc., and ask for advice. If she can get that far, they can come up with a plan to approach the owners. She can find out why they have the dogs, whether they want them, whether they could use help with them, and how amenable they might be to working with a rescue for rehoming them. If they’re on board, it’s better for everyone.
It’s always a good idea not to be judgmental in these situations. People have a wide range of ideas on how to treat dogs. The main thing is that she feels the child is in danger, and there might just be an education, outreach, or assistance component that will help resolve that. If there isn’t a shelter or nonprofit, she should find whatever local group of people DO care about dogs there. There’s bound to be some, and there’s probably a Facebook lost and found group. They’ll know the contours, and maybe how to help the family and the dogs.
(Monica also thoughtfully added that she assumed you were a woman and may be incorrect.)
I realize most people don’t love being approached by their neighbors—however respectfully—about what they’re doing wrong, and someone who hits dogs is probably not going to be super patient or mature and might respond even more poorly than the average person. So all I’d add to Monica’s advice is that you may want to develop some sort of a rapport first. Tell them their kid is cute when you see them in the driveway. Offer them some lemons off your tree. Or whatever. Maybe you can even find out how they got the dogs in the first place, and why they keep them.
But after you establish a relationship with the neighbors, I think the key thing is to still go to the experts, as Monica suggested—people who have been thinking about these sorts of treacherous and possibly dangerous pet situations much longer than you or I have, and will have experience dealing with neglectful and abusive owners. Several people suggested discreetly taking video so that the organization you approach can have a clear picture of a behavior you’re describing, and I think that’s a wise idea if you feel you can do it safely and without drawing attention to yourself.
On a hopeful note, when it comes to the child’s safety,
odin_kelly said, “I want to note that from the description, the dogs are actually being good with her, giving clear warnings and not (yet) biting. They may well get pushed too far and snap, but they have been *good* dogs so far.”I hope that’s helpful. Good luck, and thanks for looking out for your neighborhood animals and kids.
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That said, I don't know how to advise the LW. I'm sure other people here have better ideas.
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It suuuuuuucks, but it is probably more likely to help. Sometimes people who are rough with dogs are willing to learn other methods; sometimes people who have dogs but are not very interested in the dogs are willing to relinquish them to the right home if you don't make them feel too bad about themselves; sometimes you can make friends with neighbor children and teach them about dog safety.
Sometimes you wind up just stuck there and watching it happen and being afraid.
It's a bad, bad situation. I just moved away from Texas entirely, and my new neighbors look after their dog as well as anyone could possibly ask, and I feel so much better for it.
ETA after reading down: the problem with stealing the dogs is twofold: if the owners find out it was you there can be major problems, and also the odds are pretty good that people who already have three dogs will just go out and immediately acquire some new ones. Depending on the socioeconomic status of the OP and the local dog culture, it can be very likely that there will be more dogs around to be easily picked up if the neighbors decide they want another dog--particularly if they're pits or pit mixes.
Getting into a feud with a neighbor who is violent with their dogs over stealing the dogs they may or may not care intensely about is something you should go into with your eyes wide open.
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I think the thing to do, based on my own very bad experience, is call county animal control.
We had a neighbor who had the sweetest Saint Bernard, who he did not abuse except by leaving it out all the time (which isn't going to kill a dog with a constitution like that, but which was not how I'd ever treat that big sweet baby). The neighbor was a scary mofo with a Don't Tread On Me flag and signs in his yard about how great it would be to shoot trespassers. We certainly felt for the dog, but I also made no effort to befriend the neighbor.
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The dogs, and probably that child.
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If I knew LW I would be down for helping with this.
Sadly if LW lives in one of the many places where dogs are literally just property there will be nothing anyone can do until they are tortured enough that they attack the kid (or someone else).
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In massachusetts, the MSPCA has law enforcement powers and a page where you can make an anonymous report of animal cruelty. Their officers are still cops, so I'd be careful about calling them depending on the demographics of your neighbors and your neighborhood, but they have a decent reputation for not harassing people and for assessing the situation fairly.
(I don't know if that's changed in the last few years; there was an animal cruelty incident in the area this summer which makes web searches about the MSPCA law enforcement division something I'm not able to do. Kept me from reading local news for about a month, too. 😞)
The point is, if I were LW I would absolutely research the local SPCA, find out what their law enforcement and investigative powers are, and then find out if they have a good reputation. Eg. it's my general belief that with the exception of things like incident this summer I refuse to learn the details of seriously folks don't websearch for
animal cruelty mspca massachusettsright now, mostly they just rehome hoarded cats and actively abused pitbulls, things like that. But that's probably not always true, and probably varies not just by state but by demographic.ETA: my actual point is that if the MSPCA were to come out and see something that doesn't look like animal cruelty, they--at least by reputation--would file it in the "nosy neighbor" category and leave the owners alone. I'm less naive about that shit than I used to be, which is why I'd suggest the LW do the research, but it's at least theoretically fine to make the anonymous report because if it's not abuse they won't have consequences.
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Better yet, have your distant acquaintance do the actual theft while you're at work.
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Stealing the dogs is the worst possible action with the worst possible outcomes for literally every human involved here.
I honestly don't know what I'd do in this situation with multiple unknowns lurking in the background, including but not limited to:
I'm most concerned for the child, for reasons that are obvious.
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Despite fun movie plot ideas for a "let's steal these dogs a better home" heist, you are absolutely right.
Those poor dogs and that poor kid, on both physical risk and spiritual degradation levels.