minoanmiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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agonyaunt2022-05-27 03:04 pm
minoanmiss) wrote in agonyaunt2022-05-27 03:04 pm
Entry tags:
Dear Prudence: [title going under cut]
This one involves pets and hygiene and is pretty disgusting.
Q. Poop-free weekend: I have a group of college friends that have known each other for more than 20 years. We haven’t been able to hang out for a long time because of the pandemic. One of my friends, “Gabby,” offered to host the five of us for a weekend this summer. I am beyond excited to spend time with everyone.
However, I was able to see Gabby recently at her house. I hadn’t been there in years. Her house was disgusting. She allows her dog to urinate and defecate everywhere. In just the short time I was there, an afternoon, the dog peed twice and pooped once on the floors. Gabby grabbed a dry towel to wipe the urine—no cleaner, not even water in the clean-up process. The place smelled awful. I asked her why she allows her dog to do this. She didn’t want to talk about it, and just said that she leaves for work and can’t let the dog out during the day, so it is used to using the floors at its toilet.
I do not want to stay there for a weekend. I would offer my place, but we are getting our house ready to sell. I was thinking of suggesting a rental somewhere, but Gabby is single and works a low-wage job that doesn’t leave her much disposable income, and I don’t think the other friends would understand why we would need to do this without me saying that Gabby’s house is too gross to be in. Is there any way to diplomatically manage this weekend? Is there a way to do say something without hurting Gabby’s feelings and so we don’t subject everyone to her dog’s foulness?
A: Oh my! It’s neither here nor there but I really don’t understand Gabby’s reasoning and it deeply concerns me. Like, not on a clinical level or anything, just logistically and hygienically, I’m vexed. Sounds like you are, too. If you don’t want to get into it with the friend group, see if blaming it on allergens might work. Suggest that you all rent a house because you found that there’s something about Gabby’s dog that’s setting you off. It’s a weak-ish excuse but it’s not technically a lie. You should also reach out to Gabby one-on-one and offer to pay her portion of the rental, if you can, and explain that you had a reaction in the house (again, not technically a lie) and you hope she doesn’t mind. She might see through this, but I don’t know that that’s a problem. You’re not under an obligation to stay in a home that’s unpleasant and it sounds like you’re willing to do the extra work to manage everyone’s feelings around it, which is very kind.
Q. Poop-free weekend: I have a group of college friends that have known each other for more than 20 years. We haven’t been able to hang out for a long time because of the pandemic. One of my friends, “Gabby,” offered to host the five of us for a weekend this summer. I am beyond excited to spend time with everyone.
However, I was able to see Gabby recently at her house. I hadn’t been there in years. Her house was disgusting. She allows her dog to urinate and defecate everywhere. In just the short time I was there, an afternoon, the dog peed twice and pooped once on the floors. Gabby grabbed a dry towel to wipe the urine—no cleaner, not even water in the clean-up process. The place smelled awful. I asked her why she allows her dog to do this. She didn’t want to talk about it, and just said that she leaves for work and can’t let the dog out during the day, so it is used to using the floors at its toilet.
I do not want to stay there for a weekend. I would offer my place, but we are getting our house ready to sell. I was thinking of suggesting a rental somewhere, but Gabby is single and works a low-wage job that doesn’t leave her much disposable income, and I don’t think the other friends would understand why we would need to do this without me saying that Gabby’s house is too gross to be in. Is there any way to diplomatically manage this weekend? Is there a way to do say something without hurting Gabby’s feelings and so we don’t subject everyone to her dog’s foulness?
A: Oh my! It’s neither here nor there but I really don’t understand Gabby’s reasoning and it deeply concerns me. Like, not on a clinical level or anything, just logistically and hygienically, I’m vexed. Sounds like you are, too. If you don’t want to get into it with the friend group, see if blaming it on allergens might work. Suggest that you all rent a house because you found that there’s something about Gabby’s dog that’s setting you off. It’s a weak-ish excuse but it’s not technically a lie. You should also reach out to Gabby one-on-one and offer to pay her portion of the rental, if you can, and explain that you had a reaction in the house (again, not technically a lie) and you hope she doesn’t mind. She might see through this, but I don’t know that that’s a problem. You’re not under an obligation to stay in a home that’s unpleasant and it sounds like you’re willing to do the extra work to manage everyone’s feelings around it, which is very kind.