Social Q's: Isn't There a Dog Park Nearby?

[ermingarden]

I moved into an apartment four years ago and was shocked to find that a neighbor runs her dog in our common hallway. Three or four times a day, she throws a ball down the hall, and the dog barks and chases it. It’s extremely noisy. A while ago, she agreed not to do this between noon and 5 p.m. But I’ve been working from home lately, and I’m often interrupted by the noise. I’m averse to contacting building management, but she’s been belligerent about requests to stop playing in the hallway. Advice? –NEIGHBOR

I’m confused. Why have you tolerated this behavior for four years? (And why did you negotiate a “quiet period” that coincided with hours you used to work at an office?) Sometimes, compromise only normalizes bad behavior. Unless there is a compelling explanation for your neighbor’s ridiculous use of your hallway as a dog run, report her to building management tomorrow morning.

Comments

[jamoche]

(And why did you negotiate a “quiet period” that coincided with hours you used to work at an office?)

Because... OP wasn't there to hear it?

ETA: Oh, wait, I misunderstood. So if the quiet period overlaps with WFH time, what's the problem?

[cereta]

Because it overlaps but does not fully cover those hours. And also, unless I am misreading, LW finds it annoying even when they're not working.

[delight]

Uh, I do this.

When it is the dead of fucking winter, my dog plays in the hallway. I live in Manhattan. My apartment is 450 square feet and my dog is large. I don't have a yard. I didn't realize this was a bad thing unless the neighbors actually complain (my neighbors think it's cute).

[lannamichaels]

Someone on my floor has done this in the past.

I am scared of dogs. Her dog is not the most controlled dog in general. Her dog is also never leashed in the building. I have, multiple times, asked her to please keep her dog away from me. Her dog comes up to my hips.

It's not the greatest combination. And I have no standing to complain, since I'm a renter.

[delight]

My dog is a service animal who does not approach or acknowledge the existence of humans who aren't me, and if someone else is in the hall immediately gets out of the way and comes to my side. In retrospect this wasn't something I should have weighed in on because my dog is a special circumstance and his training is different to a point that vastly changes the situation! So does the fact we've got only one other person on the floor and no one below us. If anyone were afraid of large dogs I wouldn't let him loose near them.

You do have room to complain though! Whoever you are renting from should hear you out. Sadly that's idealism in action since I know many landlords are not as decent as I want them to be.

[minoanmiss]

Hmm. When I have had neighbors who owned large dogs I have been disinclined to tell them anything they might find unpleasant. (Definitely the neighbors and especially the dogs.)

[lilysea]

Ugh, I would hate this - I love dogs, but about 20% of otherwise-lovely dogs become EXTREMELY aggressive and threatening when they hear the sound of my power wheelchair [I think the high pitched engine whine it makes might be unpleasant for them]

so a dog in the corridor would make it very unsafe for me to leave/enter my home

[delight]

My boy is a service animal, so he stays wide berth away from anyone who isn't me-I can definitely understand this being an accessibility issue and would be considerate of it for sure since I also use a rollator to get around. This is definitely a situation where I think in part it's more okay for my dog than dogs in general because he's not going to be reactive to things. I just made my comment in haste, clearly, and it was not a good move but I'm definitely thinking more about how I should check in with the rest of the building and thus and such and not just my own floor.

[conuly]

I love dogs, but about 20% of otherwise-lovely dogs become EXTREMELY aggressive and threatening when they hear the sound of my power wheelchair [I think the high pitched engine whine it makes might be unpleasant for them]

Additionally, many dogs are uneasy around wheeled vehicles to begin with. My beloved Moonpie freaks out at granny carts, bikes, scooters - she hasn't seen many wheelchairs, but I wouldn't expect her to love those either.

[movingfinger]

I have lived with simmering resentment and a silent, fervent hope that the neighbor who lets their dog gallop around in the hall will just die or move or anything that will remove the dog forever, because if I say something it will be somehow My Fault that the dog is not getting taken outdoors for exercise, the way it was My Fault that the untrained dog barked because it could hear my door.

[cereta]

To be contrary: I am not phobia-level afraid of dogs, but I'm not comfortable around them, and I am often afraid when dogs I don't know, say, run up to my garage as I'm getting out of my car (a kind of appallingly regular thing).

But there's a very strong sentiment in the US that everyone loves dogs and their antics, and it can be really hard to be the one party pooper who says that yeah, actually, I do kind of mind if your dogs are bounding around my front door, because even if they're perfectly friendly, there are things like wet noses (I was once in the house of a friend with two big dogs for five minutes, and my jeans were fucking drenched when I left) and a general anxiety around dogs that has never gone away.

I'm not saying your neighbors aren't perfectly cool with the situation. I'm just cautioning others that someone saying, "Oh, sure, it's fine" may be feeling pressure not to be labeled a no-fun dog-hater.

[ysobel]

Honestly, even as a dog person I ... dislike ... the fervent EVERYONE MUST LOVE MY DOG type owners.

I think Yahtzee (my service dog) is hella awesome but I don't need to force him on people (except inasmuch as using a service dog is public exposure), and I utterly respect that some people just aren't dog people.

(I also send a note, any time I order delivery, that I have a big black dog, so they aren't caught off-guard. Just because I know he's trained and friendly doesn't mean they do, and anyway trained-and-friendly doesn't help phobias / anxiety / dislike / allergy / balance issues / whatever.)

[cereta]

Sorry, that post should have been a reply to the one above yours.

[lemonsharks]

I don't have a yard. I didn't realize this was a bad thing unless the neighbors actually complain (my neighbors think it's cute).

The neighbors who have spoken to you about it think it's cute. The neighbors who have not spoken to you about it probably think it's disruptive and annoying.

I grew up with several medium to large dogs. My first real job (held for 7 years) was in a dog friendly office. I'm not afraid of dogs or allergic to dogs. I lived underneath a tenant who let their large dogs run across their apartment for exercise for three years and it was utterly miserable. By the time they moved out my roommate and I had committed some casual conspiracy to commit murder about their dog husbandry more times than I can count.

I never went to the building manager or the neighbors themselves because I am extremely wary of dog owners because in my experience they go from defensive to aggressive about their animals at the drop of a hat. Especially when that hat is "I have the right to occupy my residence in peace and your animal is preventing me from doing so."

[delight]

I need to make a solid clarifying comment to everyone about how I've got a well-trained service dog who isn't unsupervised and I think I made it sound much worse than it is but! Most importantly; there is only one other apartment on this floor. We have one set of neighbors and asked them if it was okay first. (underneath us is literally a dog daycare playroom, so they certainly don't mind either!)

But I'm definitely wondering if I should clarify that I am always open to feedback and if she finds him upsetting or disruptive we will immediately curtail the use of the hallway.

[lemonsharks]

That information is relevant. Thank you for clarifying

[purlewe]

Some people don't get their dogs vaxxed and they cannot go to parks or to doggie day care.. so yeah I can see this being a thing.

I feel bad for both sides of this. But I can see that the owner of the dog needds to probably do more things than they have time for right now. But that is one of the things about having a pet. We have to do things we don't always have time to do.