This question does not feel real

[ysobel]

From Ask Amy:

Dear Amy: I am an old grandma with 10 step-grandchildren, the youngest of which is 18 and in her first year of college.

That child receives a substantial scholarship from me for her college.

Of the 10 grandkids, she is the only one who does not follow me on my cat’s Instagram account, which has over 5,000 followers.

She does follow her other grandma on Instagram, which is perplexing to me.

Not that I am begging for followers, but I think it’s a charitable and loving thing to do, especially when I have been generous and loving toward her.

I have not discussed this with her mother.

Am I wrong to think that would be a loving thing for her to do?

It’s just a cat account for Pete’s sake!

— Upset Grandmother



Grandmother: Yes, it’s just a cat account, for Pete’s sake.

And yet, for you it doesn’t seem to be just a cat account.

You have been careful to mention your financial support to this granddaughter. Are you implying that you are buying followers? I hope not.

Ask your granddaughter: “Did you know that ‘Muffin’ has become an Instagram influencer? I’d love it if you would follow the account. I’m having a lot of fun with it.”

It is not fair for you to imply that this is a primary way for your granddaughter to love you.

It is one way for her to love you, but it is not the only way.

Comments

[jadelennox]

I am ded of lolz.

[ashbet]

[Carolyn Hax-style WOW]

[conuly]

Wow.

[torachan]

Look, I love my cats. My instagram is only cats, though I do not have 5000 followers (!?). But LW, have you considered for a moment that maybe she isn't following you because it's a cat account? In this case, whether she's following the other grandma or not is kind of irrelevant, unless the other grandma is a rival castragrammer.

[oursin]

And then if she follows the cat, is she expected to comment? and if she doesn't, is that Not Loving Enough? (how far down could this go?)

[shanaqui]

Is Grandma's account monetised in some way? Why is following her cat on social media "a charitable and loving thing to do"? Does she just mean she wants her granddaughter to take pity and follow her despite lack of interest?

I mean, I get it: it's a small thing that would make the grandma happy. The shit I would do to make my own final surviving grandmother happy while I still can is unreal, but... it's not even clear whether the granddaughter knows about this account or knows that her grandma really wants her to follow it?

Maybe the answer is "use your words", for a start?!

[lassarina]

But why use words to resolve a problem, and remove your ability to complain about it???

(I also would do pretty much anything to keep my final surviving grandmother happy, and I'm baffled by this human.)

[lethe1]

So maybe granddaughter doesn't like cats. It happens!

[ofearthandstars]

This was a gift to read! I have no advice for Grandma (but would at least consider checking out her cat if she left her insta in the signature)