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minoanmissRemember the letter-writer who wanted to speak up about a portrait of a child abuser in their office (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update.
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(no subject)
Dec. 1st, 2021 05:31 pmconulyDear Carolyn: My husband has self-esteem issues. He often has negative thoughts about himself, despite my constant reassurance.
His self-esteem issues impact our relationship. When I try to express my feelings or things I would like him to improve on, he gets very emotional and reacts like I’m telling him he is the worst person in the world. Recently, I told him how I would like his help more with our 1-year-old and gave specific examples, and he took it as saying he never helps or is a bad dad. I end up feeling terrible for making him upset and wishing I had just kept my mouth shut.
The problem is, we need to have these conversations to improve and grow as a couple and a family. How can I have them without him becoming upset?
— Hard Conversations
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His self-esteem issues impact our relationship. When I try to express my feelings or things I would like him to improve on, he gets very emotional and reacts like I’m telling him he is the worst person in the world. Recently, I told him how I would like his help more with our 1-year-old and gave specific examples, and he took it as saying he never helps or is a bad dad. I end up feeling terrible for making him upset and wishing I had just kept my mouth shut.
The problem is, we need to have these conversations to improve and grow as a couple and a family. How can I have them without him becoming upset?
— Hard Conversations
( Read more... )
SO MANY BAD PARENTS
Jul. 12th, 2021 03:56 pmconulyDear Care and Feeding,
One of my daughters, who is 12, hates roller coasters. I’m not sure why, but she has always despised them. My wife will not let her just sit out the amusement park rides. When my daughter was younger, she would kick and scream, and my wife would just pick her up and put her on the ride even if she was crying. She insists “she’ll learn to enjoy them,” but so far she hasn’t. Now that our daughter is older, my wife still forces her on the rides by threatening to ground her or take away electronics. My daughter isn’t afraid of heights or prone to motion sickness. I’ve asked her why she doesn’t like roller coasters, and she just says they make her feel weird. I’ve never met anyone who dislikes roller coasters without a reason. At this point, I’m ready to just let her do something else for the day so we don’t have to deal with her attitude, but my wife is still insistent that she rides these rides. Is there a reason she’s acting like this? Is there a way to get her to enjoy them so we can finally have peace?
—Rough Rides
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Dear Care and Feeding,
I’m 14 and in ninth grade. I’ve gained some weight since the pandemic started. I don’t know exactly how much, but I’m still within the “healthy” range of BMI. The problem is that my mom thinks I’m really fat and last week she took all my clothes. She let me keep my pajamas and some of my sweat pants, but nothing that she thought was too small or too tight. She says that she doesn’t want me walking around looking like an overstuffed sausage. She gave me a stack of my dad’s old T-shirts and baggy cotton shorts to wear instead. I asked her if we could just go shopping and buy some new clothes in larger sizes. I even offered to pay for it myself with my allowance. She said if she let me get new clothes then that would send the message that being fat is OK. She thinks if I want to have nice clothes then I need to do a better job of taking care of my body. Before the pandemic, I was a lot more active, but I haven’t been able to play sports as much since everything got shut down last year. I’ve tried to talk to her about how embarrassed I am by the clothes she’s making me wear, but she doesn’t care. I feel so embarrassed when I leave the house now that I barely go out anymore. My dad won’t help at all; he says it’s between my mom and me. I just want to wear my normal clothes again and hang out with my friends. What should I do?
—Fourteen and Fat
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These are from the same column, and I sincerely hope they're fake and nobody is this abusive: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/07/buying-vibrator-stepdaughter-care-and-feeding.html
One of my daughters, who is 12, hates roller coasters. I’m not sure why, but she has always despised them. My wife will not let her just sit out the amusement park rides. When my daughter was younger, she would kick and scream, and my wife would just pick her up and put her on the ride even if she was crying. She insists “she’ll learn to enjoy them,” but so far she hasn’t. Now that our daughter is older, my wife still forces her on the rides by threatening to ground her or take away electronics. My daughter isn’t afraid of heights or prone to motion sickness. I’ve asked her why she doesn’t like roller coasters, and she just says they make her feel weird. I’ve never met anyone who dislikes roller coasters without a reason. At this point, I’m ready to just let her do something else for the day so we don’t have to deal with her attitude, but my wife is still insistent that she rides these rides. Is there a reason she’s acting like this? Is there a way to get her to enjoy them so we can finally have peace?
—Rough Rides
( Read more... )
Dear Care and Feeding,
I’m 14 and in ninth grade. I’ve gained some weight since the pandemic started. I don’t know exactly how much, but I’m still within the “healthy” range of BMI. The problem is that my mom thinks I’m really fat and last week she took all my clothes. She let me keep my pajamas and some of my sweat pants, but nothing that she thought was too small or too tight. She says that she doesn’t want me walking around looking like an overstuffed sausage. She gave me a stack of my dad’s old T-shirts and baggy cotton shorts to wear instead. I asked her if we could just go shopping and buy some new clothes in larger sizes. I even offered to pay for it myself with my allowance. She said if she let me get new clothes then that would send the message that being fat is OK. She thinks if I want to have nice clothes then I need to do a better job of taking care of my body. Before the pandemic, I was a lot more active, but I haven’t been able to play sports as much since everything got shut down last year. I’ve tried to talk to her about how embarrassed I am by the clothes she’s making me wear, but she doesn’t care. I feel so embarrassed when I leave the house now that I barely go out anymore. My dad won’t help at all; he says it’s between my mom and me. I just want to wear my normal clothes again and hang out with my friends. What should I do?
—Fourteen and Fat
( Read more... )
These are from the same column, and I sincerely hope they're fake and nobody is this abusive: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/07/buying-vibrator-stepdaughter-care-and-feeding.html
(no subject)
Dec. 1st, 2019 04:22 amconulyDear Amy: Less than two weeks ago, my mother passed away after a battle with cancer. She was a wonderful mother to my sisters and me, and though my grieving began with her diagnoses, I'm devastated that she's gone.
Our father passed away four years ago, and, like my mother he was a wonderful parent.
For the past year I've been living with my boyfriend and his 93-year-old mother. We've broken up a few times over the past 20 years, and -- suffice it to say, he's been verbally and physically abusive. He is also charming, humorous, adventurous, (sometimes) kind, and is very handsome.
He has always lived with his mother, and she is often insulting, judgmental, and meddlesome.
Three years ago, my boyfriend was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. He's been enormously strong mentally and physically; however, with each passing month, the cancer is taking its toll.
I'm so conflicted; I want to leave this relationship, as I question why I have fallen back into its tentacles over and over again.
How do I leave this man when he's suffering from terminal cancer?
-- Conflicted
( Amy, no! )
Our father passed away four years ago, and, like my mother he was a wonderful parent.
For the past year I've been living with my boyfriend and his 93-year-old mother. We've broken up a few times over the past 20 years, and -- suffice it to say, he's been verbally and physically abusive. He is also charming, humorous, adventurous, (sometimes) kind, and is very handsome.
He has always lived with his mother, and she is often insulting, judgmental, and meddlesome.
Three years ago, my boyfriend was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer. He's been enormously strong mentally and physically; however, with each passing month, the cancer is taking its toll.
I'm so conflicted; I want to leave this relationship, as I question why I have fallen back into its tentacles over and over again.
How do I leave this man when he's suffering from terminal cancer?
-- Conflicted
( Amy, no! )
His Way or the Highway
Oct. 27th, 2019 04:52 pmconulyDear Annie: My husband is controlling. Everything has to be his way. I've caught him in lies. We argue constantly. I get pretty tired of it, but I come right back to him every time. I'm trying to figure out what to do.
We've both had hard lives. I've heard some concerning things about how he treated his ex-wife. I'm a nice and sweet person. I just want to be treated right. I don't like being yelled at or controlled. I used to work but now I can't get a job because he doesn't want me to get a job.
Also, he still constantly deals with his ex-girlfriend. She and I can't stand each other. She's been stalking him for seven years. I tried telling him to change his number and he won't. I don't know if he's still talking to her; she calls him privately. I was wondering what to do. I think he still has feelings for her, because otherwise he'd have told her to stop "stalking" him, instead of just letting it continue. What do you think? -- Stay or Go
( Oh, Annie, no! )
We've both had hard lives. I've heard some concerning things about how he treated his ex-wife. I'm a nice and sweet person. I just want to be treated right. I don't like being yelled at or controlled. I used to work but now I can't get a job because he doesn't want me to get a job.
Also, he still constantly deals with his ex-girlfriend. She and I can't stand each other. She's been stalking him for seven years. I tried telling him to change his number and he won't. I don't know if he's still talking to her; she calls him privately. I was wondering what to do. I think he still has feelings for her, because otherwise he'd have told her to stop "stalking" him, instead of just letting it continue. What do you think? -- Stay or Go
( Oh, Annie, no! )
