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minoanmissBy Amy Dickinson
PUBLISHED: May 6, 2024 at 3:30 AM CST
Dear Amy: My wife and I are divorcing after 23 years of marriage. I am moving out soon. ( Read more... )
PUBLISHED: May 6, 2024 at 3:30 AM CST
Dear Amy: My wife and I are divorcing after 23 years of marriage. I am moving out soon. ( Read more... )
(no subject)
Jan. 18th, 2024 10:27 amconulyDear Amy: I was married to a wonderful woman for 30 years. We raised five children together and had our ups and downs, but overall I felt that we had a solid marriage.
After our youngest left the nest my wife, almost immediately, became a different person. I know she had a case of Empty Nest Syndrome. She befriended single women and started going out frequently. She lost interest in saving the marriage. This went on for four or five years, and then she decided that she didn’t want to be married anymore and got her own apartment, but we stayed friendly. I tried to make the transition as smooth as possible, but I’ll admit that I had an ulterior motive to reconcile.
During the eight years since, we’ve halfheartedly attempted numerous reconciliations, but it has never worked out. There has never been any abuse or infidelity. I’ve always felt we got along way too well to give up. The past few years she has been living with her elderly mother. We are in touch multiple times daily and spend time together. She continually says that when she is no longer required to aid her mother that we will spend more time working on reconciliation. That has all been fine with me.
Recently I ran into a friend, and she told me that she saw my ex at a social club with an elderly gentleman, which naturally got my attention. She said that they were clearly on a date and that my ex “was really dressed up and looked great.” My question for you is, is it time to give up? I’ve been avoiding her these past few days and I’m struggling with how to approach this.
— Dazed and Confused
( Read more... )
After our youngest left the nest my wife, almost immediately, became a different person. I know she had a case of Empty Nest Syndrome. She befriended single women and started going out frequently. She lost interest in saving the marriage. This went on for four or five years, and then she decided that she didn’t want to be married anymore and got her own apartment, but we stayed friendly. I tried to make the transition as smooth as possible, but I’ll admit that I had an ulterior motive to reconcile.
During the eight years since, we’ve halfheartedly attempted numerous reconciliations, but it has never worked out. There has never been any abuse or infidelity. I’ve always felt we got along way too well to give up. The past few years she has been living with her elderly mother. We are in touch multiple times daily and spend time together. She continually says that when she is no longer required to aid her mother that we will spend more time working on reconciliation. That has all been fine with me.
Recently I ran into a friend, and she told me that she saw my ex at a social club with an elderly gentleman, which naturally got my attention. She said that they were clearly on a date and that my ex “was really dressed up and looked great.” My question for you is, is it time to give up? I’ve been avoiding her these past few days and I’m struggling with how to approach this.
— Dazed and Confused
( Read more... )
minoanmissDear How to Do It,
I’ve recently become “official” with a guy I’ve been with for a few months (hetero, in our 20s). He’s a little bro-y, you could say—he was in a frat, his friends are mostly loud men, he likes beer and football on the weekends, and so on. Not my usual type, but he’s quite sweet and attentive to me behind closed doors, especially in bed. However, there’s one thing that keeps getting to me: He often says things about other women that are crude at best and misogynistic at worst. ( Read more... )
I’ve recently become “official” with a guy I’ve been with for a few months (hetero, in our 20s). He’s a little bro-y, you could say—he was in a frat, his friends are mostly loud men, he likes beer and football on the weekends, and so on. Not my usual type, but he’s quite sweet and attentive to me behind closed doors, especially in bed. However, there’s one thing that keeps getting to me: He often says things about other women that are crude at best and misogynistic at worst. ( Read more... )
minoanmiss My contentious ex is now my coworker
Today, my ex (mom of our two kids) showed up for orientation at the hospital were I work (without any heads-up). ( Read more... )
Today, my ex (mom of our two kids) showed up for orientation at the hospital were I work (without any heads-up). ( Read more... )
¡Hola Papi! My Heart Broke. Now What?
Jan. 2nd, 2020 03:12 pmfairestcat¡Hola Papi!
My boyfriend and I broke up in October after dating for six months. I know, not a long relationship, but I was completely blindsided. His reason was that he just didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I tried to understand what was happening, but I couldn’t and still can’t wrap my head around it. There was nothing wrong. He (allegedly) still cared for me but he somehow was able to just flip a switch and not want to date anymore.
I don’t know if he thought saying that would lessen the blow of being dumped, but all I took away from it is that he would rather have nothing than me. I felt really helpless in all of it because this decision was made for me and my feelings and what I wanted weren’t taken into consideration at all. He actually was surprised I was so upset about it.
I know that I shouldn’t be dwelling on this person, that I’m better off without him, but I haven’t been able to shake this. And not for a lack of trying! I’ve been focusing on myself and my health, have been trying new things, and have really worked on relationships with my friends and family. Unfortunately, there’s only so many hours in a day I can distract myself. Sooner or later, the heartbreak comes back fresh, and I’m back at square one.
I understand it takes time to process things like this and I think I have a good handle on understanding everything that has happened. But emotionally, I can’t catch up to where I am mentally. I am tired of feeling sad, lonely, and less than. The more time goes on, the more I worry I am not going to be able to move past this. Help?
Spinning My Wheels
( Hey there, SMW! )
My boyfriend and I broke up in October after dating for six months. I know, not a long relationship, but I was completely blindsided. His reason was that he just didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I tried to understand what was happening, but I couldn’t and still can’t wrap my head around it. There was nothing wrong. He (allegedly) still cared for me but he somehow was able to just flip a switch and not want to date anymore.
I don’t know if he thought saying that would lessen the blow of being dumped, but all I took away from it is that he would rather have nothing than me. I felt really helpless in all of it because this decision was made for me and my feelings and what I wanted weren’t taken into consideration at all. He actually was surprised I was so upset about it.
I know that I shouldn’t be dwelling on this person, that I’m better off without him, but I haven’t been able to shake this. And not for a lack of trying! I’ve been focusing on myself and my health, have been trying new things, and have really worked on relationships with my friends and family. Unfortunately, there’s only so many hours in a day I can distract myself. Sooner or later, the heartbreak comes back fresh, and I’m back at square one.
I understand it takes time to process things like this and I think I have a good handle on understanding everything that has happened. But emotionally, I can’t catch up to where I am mentally. I am tired of feeling sad, lonely, and less than. The more time goes on, the more I worry I am not going to be able to move past this. Help?
Spinning My Wheels
( Hey there, SMW! )
ceretaDEAR ABBY: I have been living with my girlfriend, Robin, for four years. She has children from a previous marriage, and their father is fairly active in their lives. I jumped in and have taken the kids to activities, helped with homework and I pay the majority of the bills. I dearly love the children. My problem is I no longer love their mother. Robin and I are like roommates who share a bed. There is no passion, no joy together and no partnership. I spend my time with the kids or alone. She's with them at different activities or busy on her computer. When I suggest ways we could bond together, she says, I'm too tired, or I don't want to do that, or This is the way it is! I have stayed this long only for the kids, but I'm unhappy to the point of aching. I feel guilty about leaving and the strain it will put on the kids. Is there a way to leave a situation like this? Am I a bad man for wanting out and possibly leaving the children to a tougher life? -- UNHAPPY IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR UNHAPPY: Because the woman you're living with shows no interest in improving the quality of the relationship, wanting to leave does not make you a bad person. You will have to accept that because the children depend upon you for certain things they will be affected by your departure. It's too bad you didn't consider that before moving in with someone who had a family. Try to make the breakup as civil as possible. Before you go, talk to each of the children individually. Make it clear that they are not the reason the relationship is ending and that you will always care about them. That way, they won't think they did something bad and blame themselves.
DEAR UNHAPPY: Because the woman you're living with shows no interest in improving the quality of the relationship, wanting to leave does not make you a bad person. You will have to accept that because the children depend upon you for certain things they will be affected by your departure. It's too bad you didn't consider that before moving in with someone who had a family. Try to make the breakup as civil as possible. Before you go, talk to each of the children individually. Make it clear that they are not the reason the relationship is ending and that you will always care about them. That way, they won't think they did something bad and blame themselves.
