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Amy gets it right
Sep. 3rd, 2024 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Annie: I am a 29-year-old woman, and I've been having an ongoing debate with my boyfriend of 10 years.
I wear makeup because I am insecure about my skin and my face in general. I have tried any and all products recommended to me to help clear up my skin.
I have suffered from eating disorders in the past and have constant fixation and amplification of every flaw, so I'm aware of the fact that it might be body dysmorphia that is in part driving my anxiety about my face. I am going into therapy and seeing a dermatologist next month, and I will start my process there.
But in the meantime, when I look in the mirror at my bare face, I see a monster. Makeup takes away some of that anxiety -- gives me confidence in myself, allowing me to enjoy life a little more.
While I know that it is not healthy to be so dependent on cosmetics, they are helping me get through these feelings for now.
The problem is that my boyfriend hates that I wear makeup. He constantly insists that I stop wearing it, to the point that we regularly get in heated arguments about this. He even jokingly says he will break up with me if I continue to wear it. I tell him that not wearing makeup just doesn't work for me. I tried it once for a year. It didn't clear up my skin, and it was horrible emotionally.
I really don't know what to say to him at this point other than that I am in the process of hopefully solving this problem, but even if my blemishes clear up, the mental and emotional aspects will take time. I understand others will say: "It's just makeup. Ditch it for him if you really love him!" But I don't think people understand how much I really can't stand seeing the face I have naked in the mirror. It brings me to tears and causes anxiety attacks -- which I feel like my boyfriend would resent me even more for. He doesn't have much patience for insecurity of any kind. I'm not sure what to tell him other than, "Let's wait and see." Any advice? -- Can't Face the Mirror
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I wear makeup because I am insecure about my skin and my face in general. I have tried any and all products recommended to me to help clear up my skin.
I have suffered from eating disorders in the past and have constant fixation and amplification of every flaw, so I'm aware of the fact that it might be body dysmorphia that is in part driving my anxiety about my face. I am going into therapy and seeing a dermatologist next month, and I will start my process there.
But in the meantime, when I look in the mirror at my bare face, I see a monster. Makeup takes away some of that anxiety -- gives me confidence in myself, allowing me to enjoy life a little more.
While I know that it is not healthy to be so dependent on cosmetics, they are helping me get through these feelings for now.
The problem is that my boyfriend hates that I wear makeup. He constantly insists that I stop wearing it, to the point that we regularly get in heated arguments about this. He even jokingly says he will break up with me if I continue to wear it. I tell him that not wearing makeup just doesn't work for me. I tried it once for a year. It didn't clear up my skin, and it was horrible emotionally.
I really don't know what to say to him at this point other than that I am in the process of hopefully solving this problem, but even if my blemishes clear up, the mental and emotional aspects will take time. I understand others will say: "It's just makeup. Ditch it for him if you really love him!" But I don't think people understand how much I really can't stand seeing the face I have naked in the mirror. It brings me to tears and causes anxiety attacks -- which I feel like my boyfriend would resent me even more for. He doesn't have much patience for insecurity of any kind. I'm not sure what to tell him other than, "Let's wait and see." Any advice? -- Can't Face the Mirror
( Read more... )
conulyDEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 23-year-old woman facing a dilemma within my friend group of four. Our group consists of two girls, including myself, and two guys. The other girl in our group enjoys wearing a significant amount of makeup. I don't mind this, as I believe everyone has the right to express themselves in a way that makes them feel confident and beautiful. However, our male friends consistently give her a hard time about her makeup choices. They go as far as telling her to take it off, claiming that she looks ugly with it on. This situation makes me uncomfortable, and I'm unsure about how to address it. I believe everyone has the right to make their own choices regarding their appearance without facing judgment from others. How can I approach my male friends to express my concerns about their comments without causing unnecessary conflict within our friend group? -- Friend Drama
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minoanmiss My coworker got angry at my minor prank.
I am a man and I had a strange incident with a female coworker. We both have had a very playful, joking relationship. We constantly make jokes, playful insults, and talk about a variety of topics, especially when we are in our circle of friends. ( One day at work... )
I am a man and I had a strange incident with a female coworker. We both have had a very playful, joking relationship. We constantly make jokes, playful insults, and talk about a variety of topics, especially when we are in our circle of friends. ( One day at work... )
minoanmiss[n.b. I haven't included the example links due to time, so you'll have to go to the article to find them] ( got your popcorn? Here's the article )
minoanmissAdministrative Professionals Day is coming up on Wednesday and I am already dreading it. I am not an administrative professional but I work in the construction industry. In our company, women make up 20% of the office staff. All but four are considered administrative support. ( Read more... )
minoanmiss(technically this is Ask a Boss at The Cut, but it's the same Alison writing the column. I apologize for rather spamming today, but this one is so lovely and encouraging I had to share it too.)( Read more... )
