agonyaunt | Entries tagged with how to do it

I didn't mean to post another one, but I swear I've read this slashfic a thousand times.

Dear How to Do It,

What responsibility do I have to potential dates and hookups to disclose that I’m in a sham marriage?

I’m a 19-year-old straight man who is married to another man one year my senior. This marriage is purely a sham: to make a long story short, I was in an abusive home situation, and the easiest legal way to get me out of the situation and off the streets was to marry my best friend. (We are planning an amicable divorce once I graduate college since the financial and FAFSA benefits are too good to pass up.) We both identify as straight and have never had a romantic or sexual relationship. The marriage is purely on paper.

I’m going to be attending college this fall after a gap year and I want to meet some ladies. I have no romantic or sexual history to speak of, and I want to get out there and get out my horny teenage energies with hookups and casual dating. My “husband” encourages this, as we are just roommates with extra steps. Do I need to disclose my marriage to potential hookups? Does it make a difference if I’m dating someone seriously or if it’s just a fling? I’m a bit lost here as there is no script for this situation.

—Wed Boy Gone Wild

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(Thought the fanfic angle might be particularly interesting for this comm, even if it's otherwise not the type of question we usually discuss.)

Dear How to Do It,

An actress I’ve always had a thing for was recently cast in an adaptation of my wife’s favorite book. This is great, we can enjoy it together, right? Well, it gets more complicated: My wife loves this book SO MUCH that she has written sexy fan fiction and even cosplayed as this character on occasion, and I’ve been known to gently tease her about these “nerdy” hobbies (she also has a good sense of humor about it and laughs at herself). But now that my Hollywood crush is involved, something switched in me and suddenly, this is all very sexy—yes, yes, read me the fan fiction! Wear the costume to bed! Except, I don’t want my wife to be hurt that I didn’t find this sexy until my crush was involved and think that I’m fantasizing about the actress—which I wouldn’t be, but it would be obvious where my change of perspective came from (also, my wife kind of resembles the actress—I’ve got a type!). It feels like a waste to not use all this sexy energy, but is it my penance for making fun of her before? How do I broach this topic with her?

—Karma’s a Sexy Bitch( Read more... )