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A friendly palate-cleanser
Nov. 13th, 2021 03:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyBy which I mean that the question does not make me angry/sad/worried.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 51-year-old cis woman with a unique name that is easily and consistently confused with a male name. This has resulted in countless incidents, from minor inconveniences to combative confrontations. I am a CEO, and people usually get very uncomfortable when they realize that they have "misgendered" me.
I have noticed that a lot of people have started to include their chosen pronouns in their email signature lines or other correspondence. I thought this might be an easy and painless way to "announce" my gender.
However, I am somewhat uncomfortable doing so. I feel like I am using an important issue affecting many vulnerable people and co-opting it to solve my stupid personal issue. My questions are:
1. How do I indicate my name and/or gender in a way that is not obnoxious, and that will minimize incidents where people call me by the wrong name or wrong gender (either by email or in person)?
2. Is it morally acceptable for me to list my preferred pronouns in my email or signature lines? And if it's not going to be effective, should I even try?
GENTLE READER: The simplest solution seems to Miss Manners to be to use "Ms." or "Mrs." in parentheses before your name in your correspondence.
As for using, or not using, a separate pronoun line, Miss Manners is in the etiquette, not the morals, business. But she observes that the world is a better place when people do the right thing for the wrong reasons than when they do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2021/11/11
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 51-year-old cis woman with a unique name that is easily and consistently confused with a male name. This has resulted in countless incidents, from minor inconveniences to combative confrontations. I am a CEO, and people usually get very uncomfortable when they realize that they have "misgendered" me.
I have noticed that a lot of people have started to include their chosen pronouns in their email signature lines or other correspondence. I thought this might be an easy and painless way to "announce" my gender.
However, I am somewhat uncomfortable doing so. I feel like I am using an important issue affecting many vulnerable people and co-opting it to solve my stupid personal issue. My questions are:
1. How do I indicate my name and/or gender in a way that is not obnoxious, and that will minimize incidents where people call me by the wrong name or wrong gender (either by email or in person)?
2. Is it morally acceptable for me to list my preferred pronouns in my email or signature lines? And if it's not going to be effective, should I even try?
GENTLE READER: The simplest solution seems to Miss Manners to be to use "Ms." or "Mrs." in parentheses before your name in your correspondence.
As for using, or not using, a separate pronoun line, Miss Manners is in the etiquette, not the morals, business. But she observes that the world is a better place when people do the right thing for the wrong reasons than when they do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2021/11/11
beableToday in the dept of "Wow"
Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband and I recently had our second child, and already have a toddler. We struggled with thinking of a name for our second child and went to the hospital each with a first-choice name and no agreement between us. ( Read more... )
Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband and I recently had our second child, and already have a toddler. We struggled with thinking of a name for our second child and went to the hospital each with a first-choice name and no agreement between us. ( Read more... )
cereta(Note: This is originally from 2005, reposted today, but it's short and sweet and I do so love the answer. And huh: we already had a names tag!)
Dear Carolyn:
My sister is pregnant for the first time, and I'm excited to become an uncle. The issue: The names she has picked out are so soap opera-esque that I want to ask how she could name her kid that. Any advice?
-- Va.
Buy her a few of those stuffed terry cloth rattles. Babies love them, they're washable, and, whenever you're about to criticize your sister's taste in names, you can stuff one in your mouth.
Dear Carolyn:
My sister is pregnant for the first time, and I'm excited to become an uncle. The issue: The names she has picked out are so soap opera-esque that I want to ask how she could name her kid that. Any advice?
-- Va.
Buy her a few of those stuffed terry cloth rattles. Babies love them, they're washable, and, whenever you're about to criticize your sister's taste in names, you can stuff one in your mouth.
