Um what

[ysobel]

Dear Miss Manners: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they’re too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!

Dissect them.

Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.

Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

First paragraph seems reasonable-ish. Second … wtf

[mrissa]

But they're not put together to be visually beautiful, they're put together so that you get a taste of all of those things together. Very few people want to eat just rice and seaweed, it's like wanting to eat the cheese and then the toppings off your pizza: a few people do want to do it, but it's not a viable solution to the problem at hand.

[castiron]

Just how large are we talking about? And if it won't fit in your mouth, why not pinch it in the middle with the chopsticks, bite off part and eat it while using the chopsticks to keep the rest from falling apart, and then eat the rest?

[cimorene]

I've seen sushi rolls put together badly where this won't work, but usually it is fine.

[carbonel]

I have a small mouth and have to eat most sushi in two (or more) bites. That's more manageable with fingers than chopsticks, so that's my usual recourse -- except, of course, for the ones with some kind of sauce. I've gotten fairly good at it, so it very seldom falls apart on me.

[cereta]

Unless Alton Brown lied, sushi was actually created to be eaten with one's fingers - its origins were almost identical to those of the sandwich - so if one can eat the roll with ones fingers, do that.

[minoanmiss]

I fact checked him. He was telling the truth

[dissectionist]

Oh goodness, there are so many guides online about how to eat futomaki (the large sushi rolls). It’s 100% expected that you don’t just cram the whole thing in your face, you take several bites.

[green_grrl]

Sexy sushi! 😂 Best of Redditor Updates just reran the “sexy potatoes” story. (New busybody employee complained that OP is purposely eating potatoes sexually “at her,” when employee eats them Japanese style—microwaves them and then eats them as you would a hot dog. Busybody, of course, also complains about Indian co-worker’s curry. HR tells busybody to work from home.)

[conuly]

Link, please?

[green_grrl]

Enjoy! It scratches that Ask A Manager itch, but BORU
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wp1xkv/repost_the_strange_case_of_sexy_potatoes_and/

[tielan]

*Australians enter the chat*

*Australians stare*

*Australians carefully back out of the chat, not making eye contact, especially with Miss Manners*