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conuly1. DEAR NATALIE: My friend divorced recently and I was the last to know what was going on. In fact, I only found out when our mutual friend invited us to her “divorce party.” I was really disgusted to even be included in something so crass, and I told my friend that I didn’t even know they were having marital problems. “Oh yea, she’s been miserable for months,” is what my friend said to me. For months? I had just been out with her and her husband several weeks before this announcement and they seemed fine. I also didn’t appreciate my friend confiding in everyone before me. I don’t think I want to go to this party. We are very good friends with her soon-to-be ex-husband, as well. Do you think if I skip it I’ll look as though I’m choosing sides? I care about her, of course, but why celebrate something so sad? It doesn’t sit well with me. Thoughts on this? – WHY A PARTY?
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2. My sister staged a fake wedding years ago. Her boyfriend’s mother was giving money to her children, and the married ones got double the amount of those who were single. We flew cross-country, in good faith, for this charade and spent thousands of dollars. I discovered the truth only six years ago, when I learned that my sister receives Medicaid benefits as a single person who earns little, even though she lives with her boyfriend in a huge house with many trappings of wealth. Now, my mom wants me to invite them for Christmas dinner with my sisters’ families, but I can’t overlook their lies. My mom says it’s none of my business, but as taxpayers, my sisters and I are outraged at the way they scam the system. I think inviting them would end in a big fight. Advice?
SISTER
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3. Dear Carolyn: I am 39, and I have three younger brothers. One of them is engaged and living with his fiancée, and one weekend last summer we all stayed with him. And I cannot stand his fiancée.
Part of it is on principle: My brother is 37, and she is 26. He is a doctor, and I think he focused on getting established, and when he wanted to have kids, he picked a younger woman. I have a lot of female friends in their 30s who describe dating as very hard specifically because men want younger women.
The other part is that she is such a Stepford wife. She is a teacher and was off for the summer. Their entire house was clean and organized, she had meals or local restaurants planned, she made activities suggestions for our other brother’s kids, and looked incredible — thin, young, hot. It feels like my smart, accomplished brother picked a young, hot woman instead of somebody his own age who is too busy with a career to put cereal in plastic bins.
I agreed to be a bridesmaid because I couldn’t think of a way to say no. But I don’t know how to fake it for an entire wedding.
My husband just says, “She was very nice to us,” which is true if you just look at the surface. I need help not tearing my hair out.
— Anonymous
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2. My sister staged a fake wedding years ago. Her boyfriend’s mother was giving money to her children, and the married ones got double the amount of those who were single. We flew cross-country, in good faith, for this charade and spent thousands of dollars. I discovered the truth only six years ago, when I learned that my sister receives Medicaid benefits as a single person who earns little, even though she lives with her boyfriend in a huge house with many trappings of wealth. Now, my mom wants me to invite them for Christmas dinner with my sisters’ families, but I can’t overlook their lies. My mom says it’s none of my business, but as taxpayers, my sisters and I are outraged at the way they scam the system. I think inviting them would end in a big fight. Advice?
SISTER
( Read more... )
3. Dear Carolyn: I am 39, and I have three younger brothers. One of them is engaged and living with his fiancée, and one weekend last summer we all stayed with him. And I cannot stand his fiancée.
Part of it is on principle: My brother is 37, and she is 26. He is a doctor, and I think he focused on getting established, and when he wanted to have kids, he picked a younger woman. I have a lot of female friends in their 30s who describe dating as very hard specifically because men want younger women.
The other part is that she is such a Stepford wife. She is a teacher and was off for the summer. Their entire house was clean and organized, she had meals or local restaurants planned, she made activities suggestions for our other brother’s kids, and looked incredible — thin, young, hot. It feels like my smart, accomplished brother picked a young, hot woman instead of somebody his own age who is too busy with a career to put cereal in plastic bins.
I agreed to be a bridesmaid because I couldn’t think of a way to say no. But I don’t know how to fake it for an entire wedding.
My husband just says, “She was very nice to us,” which is true if you just look at the surface. I need help not tearing my hair out.
— Anonymous
( Read more... )
