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Dear Care and Feeding,
I just learned my son has been doing something truly vile.
The warmer weather has been back in our area for a little over a month now. Many of our friends and relatives have swimming pools (we do, too). Last weekend, we were at my sister’s place and had been in the pool for a good three hours when it came time to leave. Before we went home, I asked my 7-year-old son, “Noah” if he needed to use the restroom, and he said, “No.”
On the drive back home, I joked that Noah must have a bladder of steel since he’d had no fewer than three iced teas while he was in the pool! Noah replied that no, he just urinated when he was in the pool, so he didn’t have to get out and use the bathroom. I was horrified and asked if this was something he had done before. He said, “All the time.”
I laid down the law with him. I made clear that this was never to happen again. I explained how harmful and disrespectful it was to everyone in the water around him and that it throws the pool chemicals out of balance. Noah agreed not to do it again, but I’m not sure I completely trust him. I got the sense he didn’t seem to think he did anything wrong. What can I do to make sure he keeps his word?
—Parent of a Pool Pisser
Gross. Lakes maybe, but your own aunt’s swimming pool?! It’s wonderful that Noah was honest with you about what he did, but it’s a shame that you don’t feel you can trust him not to do this again. To make him understand that what he did was gross (I’m purposely not using the word “wrong” here because kids often see “wrong” as a blanket term for “stuff adults don’t like”), appeal to his sense of empathy. Ask him how he would feel if he found out someone was peeing next to him in the pool. Ask him how far away they would need to be for him to feel comfortable. Heck, hop in a pool with him and figure out his appropriate “pee radius” by asking him as you get further and further away when he would feel comfortable with you peeing. Hopefully, he never finds it OK for someone else to pee in the pool at any radius and you’ll have taught him a valuable lesson in the golden rule. If he still thinks it’s OK, interrogate him as to why it would be acceptable to pee openly when you’re submerged in liquid, but not on land.
If you’re still not convinced that he’s convinced, bring out the big guns: The urban myth of the “red dye,” which claims people put a special chemical in pools that turns the water red around someone if they pee. The idea of having a red cloud following him around for all to see might be enough to scare him off. Ideally, you wouldn’t have to resort to lying to him about the current state of pool chemical technology, but it definitely worked for us when we were kids!
Link
I just learned my son has been doing something truly vile.
The warmer weather has been back in our area for a little over a month now. Many of our friends and relatives have swimming pools (we do, too). Last weekend, we were at my sister’s place and had been in the pool for a good three hours when it came time to leave. Before we went home, I asked my 7-year-old son, “Noah” if he needed to use the restroom, and he said, “No.”
On the drive back home, I joked that Noah must have a bladder of steel since he’d had no fewer than three iced teas while he was in the pool! Noah replied that no, he just urinated when he was in the pool, so he didn’t have to get out and use the bathroom. I was horrified and asked if this was something he had done before. He said, “All the time.”
I laid down the law with him. I made clear that this was never to happen again. I explained how harmful and disrespectful it was to everyone in the water around him and that it throws the pool chemicals out of balance. Noah agreed not to do it again, but I’m not sure I completely trust him. I got the sense he didn’t seem to think he did anything wrong. What can I do to make sure he keeps his word?
—Parent of a Pool Pisser
Gross. Lakes maybe, but your own aunt’s swimming pool?! It’s wonderful that Noah was honest with you about what he did, but it’s a shame that you don’t feel you can trust him not to do this again. To make him understand that what he did was gross (I’m purposely not using the word “wrong” here because kids often see “wrong” as a blanket term for “stuff adults don’t like”), appeal to his sense of empathy. Ask him how he would feel if he found out someone was peeing next to him in the pool. Ask him how far away they would need to be for him to feel comfortable. Heck, hop in a pool with him and figure out his appropriate “pee radius” by asking him as you get further and further away when he would feel comfortable with you peeing. Hopefully, he never finds it OK for someone else to pee in the pool at any radius and you’ll have taught him a valuable lesson in the golden rule. If he still thinks it’s OK, interrogate him as to why it would be acceptable to pee openly when you’re submerged in liquid, but not on land.
If you’re still not convinced that he’s convinced, bring out the big guns: The urban myth of the “red dye,” which claims people put a special chemical in pools that turns the water red around someone if they pee. The idea of having a red cloud following him around for all to see might be enough to scare him off. Ideally, you wouldn’t have to resort to lying to him about the current state of pool chemical technology, but it definitely worked for us when we were kids!
Link
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But since LW is thinking about it, and presumably would like to civilize this child since he's not going to the Olympics anytime soon, the true answer to the problem is to parent this child. None of this lying to your child about mysterious chemicals nonsense.
When you get to the pool, just like in a public pool, have the kid go to the bathroom and wash up. (And on a different note, the real danger is not pee in the pool but the fact that nobody showers properly before getting in.) Then, pay attention to your child and think about what you see. Ideally, you don't allow them to eat or drink in the pool, but if you do - c'mon, LW! You see your child downing iced tea after iced tea, and in three hours you don't tell him to get out and take a potty break? Or, if paying attention is too much work, set a timer and make all the kids get out of the pool every 90 minutes to go to the bathroom and reapply sunscreen.
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Surely an unintentional pun, but I’m laughing anyway!
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oh my I didn't even notice. dies
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