Dear Prudence: Dating With a Kid

[ermingarden]

Dear Prudence,

My ex-wife and I divorced a couple of years ago, and I think we do a good job of co-parenting our middle-school-aged daughter. We each have her half the time, we get along well, and our daughter sees us communicating and co-parenting much better than we did when we were married. My ex-wife has been dating someone and they will soon marry; I like him, and he’s kind to my daughter.
( Read more... )

(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: I have been with my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years now. She just lost her middle son to a drug overdose exactly one month ago tomorrow. She is really struggling with this. He was her best friend and, out of all her kids, the one most similar to her.

Since his passing, she has become isolated and more depressed. She barely eats and can't sleep, and her health wasn't the greatest before all this. She is having panic attacks and has been prescribed medication to help with everything. She is in therapy as of two weeks now.

The problem is she has completely shut me out. I just moved in with her in July, and things were strong between us before this. Now she doesn't want me going anywhere with her and her other son. She doesn't want me sleeping in the same bed. She doesn't call me on my way to work anymore unless she has a question. She doesn't even respond to my text when I check in on her from work. I just feel completely shut out and wonder why I'm even still here.

Will she ever get past this? She stated she will never be happy again. If that's true, why am I here? I know it's recent, but her whole focus day and night is strictly about her lost son. She has zero interest in doing anything -- no watching TV, leaving the house or even knowing when she can go back to work. She has lost interest in all hobbies and interests.

I completely understand she's grieving, but we are both in our 40s, and at some point, I do want to start living again. Preferably with her. Can you give me advice on how to handle this better and even a time frame on expecting anything to return to somewhat normal? I know completely normal is never possible. I am in a family therapy group that meets twice a week for grief and loss of loved ones. I'm just really worried after hearing stories that we may never get back to where we were. Thanks for any help. -- At a Loss

( Read more... )

(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a control freak. Everything I say and do, he seems to want to modify, starting with food. He likes to tell me exactly what I should eat and when, and he always has a story about why he makes those suggestions. I get that he is into nutrition, but I want to eat in peace. I am an adult, and I do not need him to monitor my every bite.

Similarly, he tries to monitor all of my activities. I am a stay-at-home mom. He has a job. While he is at work, he is constantly calling me or texting me to see what I am doing. It is annoying. I am fine. I do not need him to monitor everything. How can I get him to stop? -- Loosen Your Grasp

( Harriette's advice is bad )