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May. 16th, 2022
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May. 16th, 2022 04:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Care and Feeding,
We are celebrating my daughter’s fourth birthday in a week, and her whole class is invited. As a rule of thumb and attempt to be inclusive, we always invite the whole class. This is her first birthday after the pandemic so she’s been really excited about it. Anyway, one of her friends’ moms messaged me saying her son can make it. I told her that’s great and let her know we’re asking one parent to be there since it’s a big place and we’ve invited her whole class. She replied saying no problem, and proceeded to tell me that she’s celebrating her son’s birthday at the same place with only a few friends, and that she hopes my daughter isn’t disappointed when she hears the kids talking about it. She then said that we weren’t up for a “whole class party” emphasizing my words. Her response just didn’t sit well with me.
I asked her if she could extend the invite to my daughter as she will be disappointed and it will come across as unfair to her (seemed as if the party was shortly after hers), while I completely understand it is a small party. I also know the venue owner is super flexible on having an additional kid and there’s normally a range for parties. To which she replied that it is still not possible to include my daughter and has sent stickers for the rest of the class. While she recognized and appreciated my efforts to be inclusive, she maintained that her son’s party is only for a small number of kids and hoped I could understand that this is the best decision for her family at this time. I was disappointed but not surprised, and let her know that while I appreciate her gesture to send stickers, it is not good enough and I cannot defend this to my daughter. I let her know that perhaps it’s best if her son doesn’t come to the party as well, so it doesn’t come across as unfair to my daughter. I told her I hope she understood that this is the best decision for my family at this time.
I just got a response saying “Wow, ok.” Do you think I handled the situation in the right way? While I don’t expect my daughter to be invited to every single party because we had the means to do so, the way this mother responded to me was very entitled and not communicated very well. It had a very “sorry, not sorry” tone. I honestly felt attacked for being inclusive (by her emphasis on ‘whole class’). Would love to hear your thoughts, thanks for listening!
—Inclusive Mom
( Read more... )
We are celebrating my daughter’s fourth birthday in a week, and her whole class is invited. As a rule of thumb and attempt to be inclusive, we always invite the whole class. This is her first birthday after the pandemic so she’s been really excited about it. Anyway, one of her friends’ moms messaged me saying her son can make it. I told her that’s great and let her know we’re asking one parent to be there since it’s a big place and we’ve invited her whole class. She replied saying no problem, and proceeded to tell me that she’s celebrating her son’s birthday at the same place with only a few friends, and that she hopes my daughter isn’t disappointed when she hears the kids talking about it. She then said that we weren’t up for a “whole class party” emphasizing my words. Her response just didn’t sit well with me.
I asked her if she could extend the invite to my daughter as she will be disappointed and it will come across as unfair to her (seemed as if the party was shortly after hers), while I completely understand it is a small party. I also know the venue owner is super flexible on having an additional kid and there’s normally a range for parties. To which she replied that it is still not possible to include my daughter and has sent stickers for the rest of the class. While she recognized and appreciated my efforts to be inclusive, she maintained that her son’s party is only for a small number of kids and hoped I could understand that this is the best decision for her family at this time. I was disappointed but not surprised, and let her know that while I appreciate her gesture to send stickers, it is not good enough and I cannot defend this to my daughter. I let her know that perhaps it’s best if her son doesn’t come to the party as well, so it doesn’t come across as unfair to my daughter. I told her I hope she understood that this is the best decision for my family at this time.
I just got a response saying “Wow, ok.” Do you think I handled the situation in the right way? While I don’t expect my daughter to be invited to every single party because we had the means to do so, the way this mother responded to me was very entitled and not communicated very well. It had a very “sorry, not sorry” tone. I honestly felt attacked for being inclusive (by her emphasis on ‘whole class’). Would love to hear your thoughts, thanks for listening!
—Inclusive Mom
( Read more... )
(no subject)
May. 16th, 2022 04:08 pmconulyDEAR ABBY: My husband gets very upset when our 4-year-old sons don't share his enthusiasm over something that excites him. He wants them (and me) to jump up and down or cheer when he's excited about something. The problem is, he tends to share his news when we're getting ready for bed or just plain tired. I feel guilty for not acquiescing, but at the same time, I don't want to fake it. Any suggestions for a compromise, please? -- AT A LOSS IN TEXAS
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