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ceretaDear Miss Manners: When texting or emailing friends or clients, I often start off with “Good morning” or “How are you?” and end with “Have a great day.”
I always get short, right-to-the-point answers back, like “Okay,” and they don’t usually start with “Good morning” or end with “Have a good day.” So sometimes, I sarcastically reply “Good morning to me, too,” which I know people don’t like.
Am I too sensitive? I am old school and I just think people are being rude. They can say a little more than “Be there” or something like that. Maybe my expectations are too high and I won’t expect as much anymore.
Miss Manners: An excess of sensitivity would not be the diagnosis from Miss Manners after you admitted to the sarcastic barb. In the hope of preventing the next one, let her point out that different methods of communication carry with them different expectations about brevity.
While she agrees it would be unmannerly not to say hello to someone to whom you have just been introduced in a social setting, she would prefer to dispense with the prelude when warning someone about a fast-approaching car. Texts fall somewhere in between.
I always get short, right-to-the-point answers back, like “Okay,” and they don’t usually start with “Good morning” or end with “Have a good day.” So sometimes, I sarcastically reply “Good morning to me, too,” which I know people don’t like.
Am I too sensitive? I am old school and I just think people are being rude. They can say a little more than “Be there” or something like that. Maybe my expectations are too high and I won’t expect as much anymore.
Miss Manners: An excess of sensitivity would not be the diagnosis from Miss Manners after you admitted to the sarcastic barb. In the hope of preventing the next one, let her point out that different methods of communication carry with them different expectations about brevity.
While she agrees it would be unmannerly not to say hello to someone to whom you have just been introduced in a social setting, she would prefer to dispense with the prelude when warning someone about a fast-approaching car. Texts fall somewhere in between.
lemonsharksDEAR ABBY: Recently, family members have started texting to inform me about personal, private matters. When they do, I text back, which sometimes leads to lengthy paragraphs. I wish they’d just call me! I’m beginning to wonder if that’s what they are avoiding. I should add that I am not feuding with my family. Am I wrong? — PERPLEXED IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR PERPLEXED: No, you are not wrong. People have become so enamored of their electronic devices they seem to have forgotten that sometimes it’s more efficient to just TALK to the other party. I know from personal experience that emailing and texting can take far more time than a spoken conversation.
DEAR PERPLEXED: No, you are not wrong. People have become so enamored of their electronic devices they seem to have forgotten that sometimes it’s more efficient to just TALK to the other party. I know from personal experience that emailing and texting can take far more time than a spoken conversation.
beable4. Company is eliminating work email addresses and we have to set up personal email accounts instead
I work for a contract agency, and I provide services to both schools and health care agencies. My company has had a long-standing policy of 24-hour turnaround for emails, and I’ve never had a problem with this. However, as our management is changing, a decision has been made that employees having company email addresses is a security liability for the company, and we’re all losing our work emails. We’ve been told to use gmail or other free services to create our own personally owned “work” email addresses.
I’m bristling at the idea that I’m expected to use email for communication and check it regularly as a requirement of my work, but am not provided with that resource. Plus, I work with and handle protected health information *a lot* and many of my work email communications, both internal to the company and with our contracts, are governed by either FERPA or HIPAA. I have concerns about the legality and liability of using gmail for these communications.
I’ve pushed back with my bosses, who seem understanding and are sending these concerns up the chain, but I’m receiving no updates and the email turn-off is imminent. There has been some group pushback, but most of my coworkers don’t use email the way I do (they work almost entirely in the main office, and I mostly work in the field), and don’t seem concerned about this.
What else can I do? I’m thinking about refusing to create a personal email address for work, but that would have negative impacts on my work, both from a practical standpoint and from a perspective of maintaining a positive relationship with the new management.
In what universe are personal email accounts more secure for the company than business accounts they control? This is … the exact opposite of how it should work. And they’ll lose access to those accounts when you leave! Why why why? This is infuriating in how nonsensical it is.
If you haven’t documented the specific ways this would violate terms in your contracts, you should do that — and if your company has a legal department, you might try taking that documentation to them. You could also try building a case for why you need to maintain a work account, rather than trying to alter their whole plan but … I have a feeling they won’t care. They’ll likely argue that you can comply with FERPA and HIPAA from a personally-owned email account as long as it’s subject to the same restrictions; I don’t know enough about FERPA to know if that’s true, but either way they’ll be missing the larger point that they need to own their business email. (And how will they ensure you follow those restrictions with the account’s contents once you no longer work for them? Agggh this is ridiculous.) If they won’t budge after that, there might not be more you can do, other than to take this as a serious mark about your new management’s sense. But yeah, I wouldn’t flatly refuse to do it.
I work for a contract agency, and I provide services to both schools and health care agencies. My company has had a long-standing policy of 24-hour turnaround for emails, and I’ve never had a problem with this. However, as our management is changing, a decision has been made that employees having company email addresses is a security liability for the company, and we’re all losing our work emails. We’ve been told to use gmail or other free services to create our own personally owned “work” email addresses.
I’m bristling at the idea that I’m expected to use email for communication and check it regularly as a requirement of my work, but am not provided with that resource. Plus, I work with and handle protected health information *a lot* and many of my work email communications, both internal to the company and with our contracts, are governed by either FERPA or HIPAA. I have concerns about the legality and liability of using gmail for these communications.
I’ve pushed back with my bosses, who seem understanding and are sending these concerns up the chain, but I’m receiving no updates and the email turn-off is imminent. There has been some group pushback, but most of my coworkers don’t use email the way I do (they work almost entirely in the main office, and I mostly work in the field), and don’t seem concerned about this.
What else can I do? I’m thinking about refusing to create a personal email address for work, but that would have negative impacts on my work, both from a practical standpoint and from a perspective of maintaining a positive relationship with the new management.
In what universe are personal email accounts more secure for the company than business accounts they control? This is … the exact opposite of how it should work. And they’ll lose access to those accounts when you leave! Why why why? This is infuriating in how nonsensical it is.
If you haven’t documented the specific ways this would violate terms in your contracts, you should do that — and if your company has a legal department, you might try taking that documentation to them. You could also try building a case for why you need to maintain a work account, rather than trying to alter their whole plan but … I have a feeling they won’t care. They’ll likely argue that you can comply with FERPA and HIPAA from a personally-owned email account as long as it’s subject to the same restrictions; I don’t know enough about FERPA to know if that’s true, but either way they’ll be missing the larger point that they need to own their business email. (And how will they ensure you follow those restrictions with the account’s contents once you no longer work for them? Agggh this is ridiculous.) If they won’t budge after that, there might not be more you can do, other than to take this as a serious mark about your new management’s sense. But yeah, I wouldn’t flatly refuse to do it.
conulyDear Amy: My friend “Laura” has seemed distant to me, lately.
She is one from a group of four women who have been friends for a number of years.
When I remarked on Laura’s distance to me to another friend from the group, she said, “I know why Laura is behaving this way. Do you want to know more?”
Of course, I did. She then told me that I must have inadvertently “butt-dialed” and called Laura on my cellphone. Laura told our friend that she heard my husband and me making fun of her son.
I was shocked. If someone had mistakenly dialed me, I would never listen to their private conversation!
(Our mutual friend, however, said that she would “totally listen.”)
Most importantly, I would never make fun of Laura’s son: he is mentally challenged.
Why didn’t she confront me in front of the other friends, instead of telling them when I wasn’t there?
I feel like I’ve been tried and convicted.
I’m also really angry that she eavesdropped. Should I bring this up to Laura?
– Flummoxed
( Read more... )
She is one from a group of four women who have been friends for a number of years.
When I remarked on Laura’s distance to me to another friend from the group, she said, “I know why Laura is behaving this way. Do you want to know more?”
Of course, I did. She then told me that I must have inadvertently “butt-dialed” and called Laura on my cellphone. Laura told our friend that she heard my husband and me making fun of her son.
I was shocked. If someone had mistakenly dialed me, I would never listen to their private conversation!
(Our mutual friend, however, said that she would “totally listen.”)
Most importantly, I would never make fun of Laura’s son: he is mentally challenged.
Why didn’t she confront me in front of the other friends, instead of telling them when I wasn’t there?
I feel like I’ve been tried and convicted.
I’m also really angry that she eavesdropped. Should I bring this up to Laura?
– Flummoxed
( Read more... )
Care & Feeding: So Proud of Your Misdeed
Jan. 9th, 2020 12:02 pmminoanmiss[I thought this one was pretty cute]
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am a father of two boys, ages 9 and 5. Instead giving them a traditional allowance, I wrote a little app for their shared tablet that tracks redeemable "points." ( Read more... )
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am a father of two boys, ages 9 and 5. Instead giving them a traditional allowance, I wrote a little app for their shared tablet that tracks redeemable "points." ( Read more... )
Dear Abby: To talk or to text?
Mar. 31st, 2017 08:29 amceretaDEAR ABBY: There is a boy I like at school. He is a very well-known person around school. I'm not. I do have a wide variety of friends, and I even talk to some of his.
My friends know I like him, and they would like for me to talk to him. I wouldn't mind that, but what would I say? They want it to happen in person, but I want to do it by text, where I feel more me. What should I do? -- TENNESSEE TEEN
DEAR TEEN: Listen to your friends and approach him in person. A smile and a hello should break the ice. Then follow it up with a question about some activity that's happening at school.
My friends know I like him, and they would like for me to talk to him. I wouldn't mind that, but what would I say? They want it to happen in person, but I want to do it by text, where I feel more me. What should I do? -- TENNESSEE TEEN
DEAR TEEN: Listen to your friends and approach him in person. A smile and a hello should break the ice. Then follow it up with a question about some activity that's happening at school.
