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ceretaQ: I’m a man who grew up with very close buddies. At 41, I’ve had some friends for over 30 years. But recently I lost one of my longest friendships.
I hadn’t seen this guy for a couple of months. We’d had a minor incident when his daughter and mine competed over a role in a school play. I thought they’d got over it.
But when I recently saw him at a school event and greeted him heartily, he said that he’d lost his job, then turned away.
I immediately texted him that I hadn’t heard and wanted to help … e.g., through contacts I have. He didn’t respond.
I feel terribly about his silence. How do I regain our friendship?
Cut Off
A: Though you mean well, the solution must be about him, not you, especially since you didn’t recognize the impact of the schoolgirls’ disagreement.
Work your contacts privately. If you find someone who can help your friend, let that person initiate it. That’s the sincerest outreach of all. Your friendship may heal over time. Don’t push it.
I hadn’t seen this guy for a couple of months. We’d had a minor incident when his daughter and mine competed over a role in a school play. I thought they’d got over it.
But when I recently saw him at a school event and greeted him heartily, he said that he’d lost his job, then turned away.
I immediately texted him that I hadn’t heard and wanted to help … e.g., through contacts I have. He didn’t respond.
I feel terribly about his silence. How do I regain our friendship?
Cut Off
A: Though you mean well, the solution must be about him, not you, especially since you didn’t recognize the impact of the schoolgirls’ disagreement.
Work your contacts privately. If you find someone who can help your friend, let that person initiate it. That’s the sincerest outreach of all. Your friendship may heal over time. Don’t push it.
