![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swingandswirlCarolyn Hax: Fiancé secretly tracks ‘gold digger’s’ contribution to shared home
She wants to believe fiancé’s “gold digger” jab was just anxiety talking — but he also has a spreadsheet of what each has spent.
Jul. 29th, 2024
swingandswirl(no subject)
Jul. 29th, 2024 02:13 pmconulyDear Prudence,
Back in January, my husband and I purchased a lovely two-story home in a quiet neighborhood. It has a large balcony above the backyard that is perfect for entertaining, which we do often. It also affords an expansive view of our next-door neighbor’s yard as well. Initially, this was not a problem. But when the weather grew warmer, things changed.
Our neighbor has a pool and he often sunbathes and lounges by his pool naked. Anyone who is on the balcony has a clear view of him wherever he happens to be. I have told our neighbor what we are able to see, and asked him to either cover up or postpone his tanning sessions for when we aren’t using our balcony, especially when our two kids (son, 7, and daughter, 10) are there. He responded that it’s his yard and he can do whatever he pleases in it, and if we have a problem with that, we should wait until he goes back inside before using our balcony. We feel this is an imposition on us and that we shouldn’t have to schedule our lives and those of our kids around his stubbornness. We are considering seeing an attorney about this if we can’t resolve the issue amicably. Do we have any recourse here?
—Involuntary Jaybird Watcher
( Read more... )
Back in January, my husband and I purchased a lovely two-story home in a quiet neighborhood. It has a large balcony above the backyard that is perfect for entertaining, which we do often. It also affords an expansive view of our next-door neighbor’s yard as well. Initially, this was not a problem. But when the weather grew warmer, things changed.
Our neighbor has a pool and he often sunbathes and lounges by his pool naked. Anyone who is on the balcony has a clear view of him wherever he happens to be. I have told our neighbor what we are able to see, and asked him to either cover up or postpone his tanning sessions for when we aren’t using our balcony, especially when our two kids (son, 7, and daughter, 10) are there. He responded that it’s his yard and he can do whatever he pleases in it, and if we have a problem with that, we should wait until he goes back inside before using our balcony. We feel this is an imposition on us and that we shouldn’t have to schedule our lives and those of our kids around his stubbornness. We are considering seeing an attorney about this if we can’t resolve the issue amicably. Do we have any recourse here?
—Involuntary Jaybird Watcher
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Jul. 29th, 2024 02:45 pmconulyMy ex and I have two high school kids together. I now know he was unfaithful throughout our marriage. He divorced me when he got his now-wife pregnant. They have three kids together. Because she stays at home, most of our scheduling conversations end up going through her. I’ve tried talking to him, I’ve tried written communication but the only thing that seems to stick is a phone call or physical conversation with her. I send a recap to their shared email to cover all my bases. It’s exhausting but the only thing that seems to work. He got another woman pregnant. Maybe they’ll work it out, maybe they won’t.
But every conversation with his wife now starts with complaints and sometimes sobbing about how hard it is. I have zero sympathy for her. She seems to think we can bond about him, mostly because I was always neutral to her. I only did that because I knew that being nasty would just be embarrassing and unhelpful and maybe hurt my kids. I do not like her. I believe she shouldn’t be surprised by him. I’m mostly just grateful my kids are almost grown and we won’t have to split child support a million ways as he continues to be selfish and careless. But her behavior is driving me up the wall and I’m worried I’m going to snap and tell her what I really think. How do I stay cool about this? I should be happy that karma is coming for her but mostly I’m just annoyed that she’s complaining about being on the other side of the coin.
—Annoyed
( Read more... )
But every conversation with his wife now starts with complaints and sometimes sobbing about how hard it is. I have zero sympathy for her. She seems to think we can bond about him, mostly because I was always neutral to her. I only did that because I knew that being nasty would just be embarrassing and unhelpful and maybe hurt my kids. I do not like her. I believe she shouldn’t be surprised by him. I’m mostly just grateful my kids are almost grown and we won’t have to split child support a million ways as he continues to be selfish and careless. But her behavior is driving me up the wall and I’m worried I’m going to snap and tell her what I really think. How do I stay cool about this? I should be happy that karma is coming for her but mostly I’m just annoyed that she’s complaining about being on the other side of the coin.
—Annoyed
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Jul. 29th, 2024 02:55 pmconulyDear Care and Feeding,
My 6-year-old is obsessed with shaving. I discovered that he’d been shaving his legs and arms with my razor in the shower. I’ve explained why we’re not going to do it—firstly, because it’s not safe, and secondly, because it is changing his body by removing his fine hair and causing different, darker, courser hair to grow. This, to me, is different than the way I allow him to express himself with haircuts, nail polish, clothes, temporary tattoos, etc. For me, it feels like modifying his body, closer to an ear piercing than a haircut.
He says he just wants to because he likes to do it. He’s a sensory seeker and also tends to love things that are off-limits (of course). I think he likes how it feels during shaving and how it feels after, though he’s seeing the courser stubble coming through, and I feel like that’s making an impact to see that I’m not just making things up. Am I overreacting and should I just let him get down with an electric razor if he wants to? At the moment, I’ve taken to just hiding all the razors.
—Hairless
( Read more... )
My 6-year-old is obsessed with shaving. I discovered that he’d been shaving his legs and arms with my razor in the shower. I’ve explained why we’re not going to do it—firstly, because it’s not safe, and secondly, because it is changing his body by removing his fine hair and causing different, darker, courser hair to grow. This, to me, is different than the way I allow him to express himself with haircuts, nail polish, clothes, temporary tattoos, etc. For me, it feels like modifying his body, closer to an ear piercing than a haircut.
He says he just wants to because he likes to do it. He’s a sensory seeker and also tends to love things that are off-limits (of course). I think he likes how it feels during shaving and how it feels after, though he’s seeing the courser stubble coming through, and I feel like that’s making an impact to see that I’m not just making things up. Am I overreacting and should I just let him get down with an electric razor if he wants to? At the moment, I’ve taken to just hiding all the razors.
—Hairless
( Read more... )