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Dear Care and Feeding,
My 6-year-old is obsessed with shaving. I discovered that he’d been shaving his legs and arms with my razor in the shower. I’ve explained why we’re not going to do it—firstly, because it’s not safe, and secondly, because it is changing his body by removing his fine hair and causing different, darker, courser hair to grow. This, to me, is different than the way I allow him to express himself with haircuts, nail polish, clothes, temporary tattoos, etc. For me, it feels like modifying his body, closer to an ear piercing than a haircut.
He says he just wants to because he likes to do it. He’s a sensory seeker and also tends to love things that are off-limits (of course). I think he likes how it feels during shaving and how it feels after, though he’s seeing the courser stubble coming through, and I feel like that’s making an impact to see that I’m not just making things up. Am I overreacting and should I just let him get down with an electric razor if he wants to? At the moment, I’ve taken to just hiding all the razors.
—Hairless
Dear Hairless,
First off, it’s a myth that shaving makes the hair grow in darker and courser. Yes, the stubble makes it feel that way because of the edge that shaving created and the width of the hair at that part of the shaft, but the hair composition isn’t changing. So, you can put to rest your concern about him altering his body.
I answered a related question a few months back about a 7-year-old girl who wanted to shave because she was being teased for her body hair. In that column, I referenced a social media conversation in my neighborhood where the moms overwhelmingly supported a young local girl’s choice to shave. One of the more common refrains was the fact that we are trying to teach kids bodily autonomy, and that this right should extend to certain aspects of their appearance.
I recognize your son’s situation is a bit different than the girls I reference above. However, if your son is allowed to cut and style his head hair how he wants, why is his limb hair off limits? Is it possible that, despite your (excellent) openness to gender-nonconforming aesthetics, shaving one’s legs is a bit too far for you? Sit with that, perhaps. If it really is just about body alteration, my first paragraph here should take care of that.
I suppose you could always see if some other kind of sensory stimulation would satisfy him as a substitute. But to me, there is no harm in allowing him to shave.
Link
My 6-year-old is obsessed with shaving. I discovered that he’d been shaving his legs and arms with my razor in the shower. I’ve explained why we’re not going to do it—firstly, because it’s not safe, and secondly, because it is changing his body by removing his fine hair and causing different, darker, courser hair to grow. This, to me, is different than the way I allow him to express himself with haircuts, nail polish, clothes, temporary tattoos, etc. For me, it feels like modifying his body, closer to an ear piercing than a haircut.
He says he just wants to because he likes to do it. He’s a sensory seeker and also tends to love things that are off-limits (of course). I think he likes how it feels during shaving and how it feels after, though he’s seeing the courser stubble coming through, and I feel like that’s making an impact to see that I’m not just making things up. Am I overreacting and should I just let him get down with an electric razor if he wants to? At the moment, I’ve taken to just hiding all the razors.
—Hairless
Dear Hairless,
First off, it’s a myth that shaving makes the hair grow in darker and courser. Yes, the stubble makes it feel that way because of the edge that shaving created and the width of the hair at that part of the shaft, but the hair composition isn’t changing. So, you can put to rest your concern about him altering his body.
I answered a related question a few months back about a 7-year-old girl who wanted to shave because she was being teased for her body hair. In that column, I referenced a social media conversation in my neighborhood where the moms overwhelmingly supported a young local girl’s choice to shave. One of the more common refrains was the fact that we are trying to teach kids bodily autonomy, and that this right should extend to certain aspects of their appearance.
I recognize your son’s situation is a bit different than the girls I reference above. However, if your son is allowed to cut and style his head hair how he wants, why is his limb hair off limits? Is it possible that, despite your (excellent) openness to gender-nonconforming aesthetics, shaving one’s legs is a bit too far for you? Sit with that, perhaps. If it really is just about body alteration, my first paragraph here should take care of that.
I suppose you could always see if some other kind of sensory stimulation would satisfy him as a substitute. But to me, there is no harm in allowing him to shave.
Link