(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 32-year-old brother is finally getting married, but I don't like his bride. I know that his life isn't mine, so I should mind my business. However, I care about my brother and don't want to see his life get messed up because of his bride-to-be.

My biggest issue is that she doesn't seem to genuinely love my brother. I notice it in her body language and facial expressions when she's around him. This leads me to believe she is in this relationship for his money and eventual status. My brother is an investment banker who is doing well at his company, and there are no limits his career prospects. He has already told her that when she has kids, she won't need to go back to work if she doesn't want to. It seems she is going after the life that he can give her as opposed to him. I am really sad about this. I want to tell him my feelings, but it seems extremely inappropriate and cliche to be the sister who is badmouthing his fiancee. Do you think I should say something or let my brother live his life how he wants? -- Protecting My Brother

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(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend just started his first year of college. We have been together for about a year and a half. He isn't super far away, but his mom is restricting us from seeing each other "too often." Every time I go to visit him, I pay for my own train ticket. I don't really think my visiting him is affecting her in any way. We both want to be respectful of her and her wishes, but when it's possible to see him, I'd like to be able to.

A relationship is hard to maintain seeing each other only once a month. He does come home for breaks and some weekends, which I am grateful for. I just don't feel she should be making those choices for us. I want to communicate to her about this, but I don't want to seem disrespectful or rude. What should I do? -- THREE IS A CROWD

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(no subject)

[conuly]

My mother lost her eyesight a year ago. She still needs a lot of help at home. She likes to go outside and sit on the porch with our dog, which she can do on her own. Recently, we found a stray kitten and decided to keep it. My father and I are very fond of it! The problem: My mother is upset that she can no longer open the front door to the porch without possibly letting the kitten out. We’ve told her we’re happy to open the door for her if she wants to go outside. But she is angry that we are further limiting her already limited activities. What should we do?

SON

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(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Care and Feeding,

My older brother, “Ethan,” is 23 and in grad school getting his Ph.D. He is autistic, is really anxious, and doesn’t make friends easily. Ethan signed a lease on an apartment in November for the fall 2024–25 school year with his friend “Sam,” who turned out to be a girl. I think she could easily be described as his platonic female best friend. Ethan and Sam are clearly very close, and she is also clearly very shy and anxious too. They could be dating, I guess, but they’ve both denied it, and I have no reason to believe he’s lying. (Ethan has told me before that he thinks he’s asexual.)

Our mom is freaking out over the possibility of Ethan moving in with a girlfriend, which I find funny because they know that my dorm is across the hall from my actual boyfriend’s. Ethan got diagnosed with autism only a few years ago, but ever since we were kids, our parents, especially our mom, have been much more protective of him because he is different. She keeps badgering him to change his mind or get him to cancel the lease or even stay at home and commute an hour each way. He keeps refusing, but both of them are pretty stubborn. (Ethan and I have long believed that our mom is also autistic.)

I know this will make for an awkward Easter (the next time we’re all at home together) if they keep arguing about this. I want to take Ethan’s side. I know that constantly arguing with our mom about this will make his mental health even worse, and our dad is doing everything in his power to stay out of it. I’m struggling to find ways to support my brother without upsetting my mom. She doesn’t have a coherent argument as to why it’s bad for my brother to move in with a female friend. Sam’s parents are apparently all right with it (not that that would matter either). I’m the only one standing up for my brother, which he’s said he appreciates. (Our other sibling isn’t responding to anything.)

—Supportive Sister

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