(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Amy: A few weeks ago, I ran away from home because I couldn't get my way. I wasn't gone the whole day.

When I came back my mom felt disrespected because of what I had done. Since then, she hasn't talked to me because I never apologized. She thinks that I should have apologized after the situation happened.

I understand this, and when I look back on what I did it was really dumb, but I wouldn't say I like talking about it. I really don't want to continue our relationship as a family if there is no communication. Amy, will you please tell me what you think?

How can I make her talk to me again? What should I do?

– Troubled Teen

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(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Amy: Almost 10 years ago my wife discovered that I had been cheating on her, emotionally and physically, and that I had a porn addiction I couldn’t control. We separated for a year but eventually ended up back together. Years of therapy and support groups helped me to become the man I really want to be. And accountability, both digital and in the real world, help my wife to see that I remain faithful and dedicated.

Alas, at the age of 40, I feel that I spent most of my 30s living like a grounded teenager. I have freedom working for myself, but I’m not really allowed to use it. All I really want to do is surf and spend time in the ocean, but my wife is convinced this will somehow lead to me cheating on her. Despite the fact that she can see my location at all times, and has full access to all my devices and every inch of my life, I think she has some trauma that therapy didn’t really heal.

Any anger I have will always be outweighed by a greater anger that she can generate. I don’t want to be ignorant of her needs but I’m slipping into deeper depression. I told myself I wouldn’t live like this in my 40s. My wife seems to have no intention of loosening her grip on my life. It is destroying my well-being.

I’m essentially the sole breadwinner, and I live today as a dedicated husband and partner. I’ve submitted to her every need for accountability. Is it wrong to put my foot down and take a bit of my life back?

– Betrayer

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Miss Manners: My friend has a large nude painting of herself on display

[ermingarden]

Dear Miss Manners: Some good friends of ours, a husband and wife, have a painting of the wife in their living room. The painting is a nude from her much younger days. It is not erotic, but it is very large and very explicit and detailed. She is looking at the viewer with a direct challenge.

When we visit, we are always taken to this room. I’ve asked to go to another room or to the garden, but my hostess says she loves to entertain in that room because of the sea view, which it does have.

It does not seem there is any polite way to avoid the giant nude, short of not visiting at all. Can you think of a way?

Many social situations require one to ignore the obvious; this is called tact. Miss Manners would have thought this was one of the less unpleasant of such situations, as you will be able to have a good snicker about it in the car on the way home.