Ask Amy: LW has a transphobic friend and a trans kid and is somehow confused about what to do

[jadelennox]

Dear Amy: I have a friend with whom I often socialize. He's 65 years old and stubborn.( Read more... )

Ask Amy: All Columnists Are Beginning to notice a change

[jadelennox]

Dear Amy: I was quite disturbed by your response to "Gardener," who witnessed two teenage boys stealing plants from her garden.

I cannot believe that you suggested this homeowner should call the police!

That advice could get those boys killed!

— Upset

Upset: My suggestion that this small-town homeowner should call her “local police department or sheriff’s office” to report this petty theft inspired many readers to respond with reactions similar to yours.

This assumption — that police kill teenagers — reflects the horror and fear of police violence, and whether this is a strictly accurate description of our current reality, the shocking truth is that many Americans (at least those responding to this column) have lost their faith in the police.

I admit to underestimating the magnitude of how afraid many people are of the police, who are supposed to protect them.

(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Amy: My niece is angry at a few members of our family. We offered our apologies, but they were rejected.

My daughter is getting married, and that’s making things awkward.

I recently learned that my niece moved into her first house.

I texted her congratulations and asked for her mailing address, in order to send the invitation. She responded: “Please send it to my father’s house, as it’s just easier.”

Easier than receiving mail at her own house?

She’s made it clear that she wants to stay angry.

I assumed that including her in the family event might begin to heal bad feelings. Now I’m just annoyed.

I’m supposed to invite someone to a wedding that won’t tell me where she lives?

– Offended

( Read more... )

(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister and I have recently been arguing a lot. We are relatively close but are at different stages of life. I am married with four small kids and a husband, and she is recently divorced (after five years) without children. Now she’s dating again and tells me she’s not interested in having babies (husband or no). That’s fine and I want to support her, but here’s my dilemma. She is clinically depressed. She’s seeing a therapist and is taking medication but will text me things like “I have no joy in my life—what can I do to find some?” I’m not living a perfect life by any means (I recently underwent cancer treatment during a pregnancy while in a pandemic among other things) but I can say I’m pretty content, so I try to offer advice (she did ask, after all) and since my kids tend to bring me the most joy, I naturally have suggested that maybe being a mother would make her happy.

I understand that kids are not everyone’s cup of tea, but she’s not finding happiness in her job, her hobbies, her casual relationships, her friendships, or even her church group. Still, when I mention that babies bring joy, she blows up in anger. She went through a tough year of fertility treatments when she was still married and is convinced that that was enough trying for kids for her. So I’m at a loss as to what to say to help or comfort her at this point. I don’t want to be trite and say, “You’ll find something eventually” but I also don’t have the skills, knowledge, or, frankly, time to try to help her find her bliss. How can I be a supportive sister during her depression without spiraling down a dark hole with her? It feels like all I do is make her mad, which is frustrating. I don’t know what answer she’s looking for, but all of mine are wrong.

—No Answer in Newtown

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