Wife resents brother-in-law and his wife for lack of generosity

[raine]

Dear Amy: My husband is an identical twin. He is very close to his twin brother, "Chet." Chet is married and has three children. His wife is a spoiled millennial with a short fuse and unpredictable moods. My husband and I have tried for children for a decade now, with no luck. I take issue with something I feel I can't talk to my husband about without him getting defensive and upset. We are very good to his brother's family, attending the kids' games, events and birthday parties. I gave up going on vacation this year so his brother and kids could go with my husband instead of me. We give gifts to the kids, and for Chet and his wife's birthdays. (I'm lucky to get a text message on my birthday.) For Christmas, we dropped more than $200 on gifts for them. My husband and I received nothing from them. I give so much throughout the year! Do we just continue to be neglected because we don't have kids? I felt like I was kicked in the gut leaving the Christmas 'gift exchange' with nothing. Am I being too sensitive, or are my feelings warranted? What is the best way to communicate this to my husband without him feeling like I'm attacking his brother/family? - Flying Solo

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(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I received a worrisome email from our 20-something-year-old son, a graduate student some distance away. He wrote that he is recovering from wounds of his childhood. (We thought we were loving, supportive parents.) He indicated he will come home for visits only if we comply with his demands -- about 10 were listed -- and accused us of some things we never did.

On the advice of my counselor -- I have a history of depression, which is in remission -- I wrote agreeing to his demands in order to keep the lines of communication open. My husband refuses to do this. He is overwhelmingly hurt, angry and frustrated. He says he will not walk on eggshells in his own home. Our son is our only child. What can or should we do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN OHIO

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