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[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: Ever since our daughter moved out, married and had children, she has become a different person. She doesn't treat my wife like a mom. They used to be close, but now it seems my wife can't do anything right. She can't post pictures of the grandkids when others can, and she can't hug or kiss her grandkids when others can. When asked what she did to be treated this way, my daughter responds, "I don't know."

My wife wants to be a typical grandma and love, spoil and have a relationship with the grandkids, but she keeps being pushed away. I have had it to my wits' end with my daughter because when my wife hurts, so do I. I'm ready to write her off and move on. What are we to do? -- FRUSTRATED GRANDPARENTS

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Two letters to Harriette in the same column

[conuly]

1. DEAR HARRIETTE: I have ginger hair and hazel-brown eyes, while my wife is a brunette with brown eyes. Despite our genetics, our 2-year-old child is dark-haired with blue eyes with a speck of green. My mother and sister cannot stop insinuating that my wife may have cheated on me. I consistently reject this idea and have become increasingly frustrated over time. I know my wife is faithful and loyal as she has always been. However, the persistent remarks from them and other family members at gatherings are beginning to affect me. I am considering a DNA test, but I fear my wife will feel doubted and betrayed by suggesting it. -- Confused Father

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2. DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel for my twin brother, and I am worried about him. "Danny" no longer socializes with us like before, he rarely leaves his room and he often refuses to go to school. It seems like life has been drained out of him, and he appears depressed. I have made efforts to talk to him, but he shuts me down. I intentionally snuck into his room and accessed his social media account because I am worried about him. I saw a conversation with a friend where Danny mentioned he is terrified of being judged and hated in the family because he is gay. He overheard our dad expressing extreme disgust toward gay people. I am considering sharing this information with my mom so she can mediate and talk to Danny, but I am afraid of causing more harm. -- Gay Twin

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[conuly]

Dear Annie: I grew up never allowed to have pets. I've been married almost 30 years to a man who allowed me to have a small inside dog, and he doesn't mind her so much but hates the two we have outside. Both are rescues, one from his oldest son that had him tied to a tree, the other from a rescue group. Both weigh under 7 pounds. He hates them and looks for any excuse to get mad about them. One is a thief but doesn't chew up her finds. The other digs tiny holes that a pecan can fit in, but not very many, two or three at any given time.

The issue is that, if our granddaughter brings a pet for us to take care of, it can do no wrong because we love our granddaughter, no matter how stinky or destructive the animal. This hurts my heart and makes me feel like he puts up with them because he loves her. What about me? -- Protective of Pets

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