(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Carolyn: My mother is 78 and requires 24/7 care. I am working full time. My son and daughter-in-law live about two hours away with their two kids. My son is a doctor and my daughter-in-law quit working when she was pregnant with their oldest.

Since she quit, I’ve been asking every few months whether she can come by once or twice a week to watch my mother. They always say no. When I was there last month, I sat them down and asked why my daughter-in-law is so unwilling to help with my mother when she isn’t working. I feel I am owed an explanation.

They did not give me one but offered a substantial check for a home health aide.

My mother was adamant that we do not hire strangers or put her in a home; my son knows this, so I don’t understand the money. I also know his education was expensive, their house is new, and she doesn’t work. Where is this money coming from? I don’t feel like this is all adding up. What do I do now?

— Disappointed

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(no subject)

[conuly]

My husband and I, both 70, were married two years ago after living together for 20 years. When we shared our plans with his grown children, then 25 and 28, they were angry. His son demanded to see my husband’s will, which my husband showed him. In it, he leaves his entire estate to me, just as I leave mine to him. His son had hoped to inherit my husband’s New York loft and pay me an allowance. Eventually, the loft will go to his two children, and our upstate property will go to them and my daughter. Still, his children accused him angrily of not putting family first. It has now been two years since they spoke to their father. In their last conversation, my husband said he loved them and was always there to talk. Should he reach out to them, or is the onus on them to apologize? Also, should we tell them we’ve decided to sell the loft?

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