Is this for real!?

[conuly]

Q. Discount bin Merida: In a bit of a perfect storm of hair care, I recently shaved my head and then decided to stop straightening my curls when working from home looked to be a full-time thing at my job. Then my company brought us back into the office on a hybrid schedule. The timing has made the hair situation look a lot more extreme than it will in a couple of months (because there’s now no weight in my hair to pull down the curls).

This seems to have set off the marketing manager.

“Fern” doesn’t believe white women have curly hair. She’s accused me of cultural appropriation and blackface. She’s even threatened to go to HR. (Fern is white, too.)

It’s ridiculous. This is how my hair grows out of my head, ginger and spirals. However, I do feel bad because Fern is increasingly a laughingstock among people she’s ranted about this to. It also won’t reflect well on her judgment if she does take it to HR. So far, despite efforts by her friends, me, and one Black co-worker she tried to rope into this, she refuses to believe any evidence to the contrary.

Can you think of anything I can do to convince someone who’s SO embedded in SUCH a bizarre, and random, belief that my hairstyle does exist? Some of her friends have offered to pay for me to get my hair straightened, since she won’t let it go. I don’t want to do that, although I do feel a bit of a jerk since I assume that her fixation on the curl thing, in the face of all evidence, is probably a sign of something else going on with her. It also seems overkill to make any sort of official complaint over such a ridiculous thing.

(I did wonder if this was some sort of joke, but it’s just going on for so long I can’t see when she’d just laugh and expose the camera at this point?)

( Read more... )

Ask a Manager: Should Employees Have To Ask For A Raise?

[purlewe]

A reader asks:

I recently found myself in a disagreement about an issue with a fellow manager: Should an employee have to ask in order to get a raise?

I've always felt it's incredibly important for employees to ask for the raises they want. Ideally, that means setting a meeting with me and coming prepared with a document including: (1) all their achievements over the past months or years, (2) what they plan to achieve in the coming months or years, and (3) a specific number request for a new salary.

As a manager, I sometimes push for top performers to get raises even if they don't ask. But I'm much more likely to advocate for someone if they ask.

The other manager disagreed. She said it's important to reward people regardless of whether they ask, and I shouldn't put so much emphasis on who asks and who doesn't.

What do you think? And if employees should indeed be expected to ask, what should a reasonable manager expect when it comes to the quality of that request? I've had people super casually say "oh hey, a raise would be cool," for example -- and to me, that doesn't really feel like a solid "ask."

Green responds:

Employees should not have to ask to get a raise!

I'm curious about why you think it's so important for employees to ask. After all, think about the function that raises serve for you as a manager: Ultimately, they're about attracting and retaining great employees, right? So why should they have anything to do with whether someone is assertive enough to ask for a raise or enough of a go-getter to put together the kind of document you want to see? That's not what you should be evaluating people on when it comes to fair pay for their work.

It's in an employer's best interests to pay people fairly whether or not they ask for a raise. You want your salaries to help you retain your best people, not leave it up to whether or not they happen ask for more. What you're doing now is opening the door for someone to swoop in and entice your best employees away with better, fairer salary offers, because you're being passive about ensuring that you're paying them the right amount.

You're also probably creating an unfair, inequitable salary structure on your team. Your system means that you could end up paying lower performers more than higher performers, depending on who asks for more. It also means that, statistically speaking, you're likely to have inequities that are based on sex and race as well -- because there's lots of data showing that white men are more comfortable asking for raises and that women and people of color are less so. The law requires you to ensure that you're paying people fairly, and it can't just be based on "he asked and she didn't."

It's your job as a manager to make sure that the salaries on your team are serving their function: that they're attracting the candidates you need to attract, that they're helping you retain your best people, and that overall they're part of a fair and equitable structure that you could defend if ever called upon to. Don't leave that up to other people.