(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: When I was in my early 50s, I became very ill and eventually found out I had severe rheumatoid arthritis. During that time I was in and out of hospitals. The last time I was hospitalized, my husband was too busy to come visit me. On arriving home, I discovered he had changed the locks and moved his girlfriend in. Needless to say, this was quite a shock. His defense was that he was still young and wanted to have fun and didn't want to be around a sick person. So after 20 years of marriage, we divorced.

That was 10 years ago. I'm now 64. I've been able to manage the symptoms of my illness much better. I fish, ride bikes with my granddaughter and volunteer at my church. I'm very content. My problem now is that a good friend keeps trying to convince me to let her set me up with men.

I have no interest in dating. I finally told her I think men are untrustworthy and to please just let it go. How do I convince her to let it lay? Her husband passed away last August from Lewy body dementia, and she started pestering me about dating after that. Why is she like a dog with a bone about my dating life (or lack thereof) all of a sudden? -- Let Me Be Single

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(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Amy: I need some help countering favoritism in my in-law family.

My mother-in-law has been handing nice antiques to my husband’s younger brother, while at the same time giving my husband broken trinket items.

(I have written thank you notes for every item.)

I have tried to take the approach in private that we should expect nothing.

It's very hard to attend gatherings where my MIL bestows a gigantic heirloom on my BIL after years of her crowing that everything would go to her eldest son (my husband).

It feels like some cruel experiment where one child is starved and the other is given every resource possible – in front of the starving one, for added drama.

My BIL is sheepish, but he tends to enjoy his largesse.

He hasn't offered to split any of the big-ticket items with his elder brother, the one who was promised the things to begin with.

We have enough money to buy our own things, but it is disappointing to discover years of empty promises.

I don't want my MIL to know that years of slights have left their mark.

It would be an absolute slam dunk if my husband and I could appear too busy traveling and being successful to notice she'd given the entire household to her younger son!

How can I appear not to be hurt?

– Upset DIL

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