Miss Manners: the charitable gift in another's name

[movingfinger]

(Or something to that effect.)

Dear Miss Manners: Every Christmas, I am the recipient of a card from a really darling relative. This relation makes a charitable gift to a third party, and then sends me the card as an acknowledgment of her giving (which is noted as being done on my behalf).

It is, of course, a thoughtful gesture. However, I am unsure exactly how to respond. Do I thank her for thinking of me? Or do I thank her for thinking of others (the third party)?( Let's scrutinize this charitable act thoroughly! )

Classic Prudence: Run! Run like the wind!

[beable]

This is old, but it's an Emily Yoffe prudence answer that is cracking me up at the moment:

Dear Prudence, Emily Yoffe, 2014

My in-laws are kind, delightful people, and I enjoy spending time with them, except on Christmas. Their family tradition is for everyone to take turns unwrapping gifts. Last year, we unwrapped gifts for almost two hours, stopped for lunch, and then unwrapped gifts for another hour after lunch. Each person receives a modest number of gifts, so it’s not quantity that is causing the problem. The recipient is expected to carefully unpackage and read product instructions before moving along to the next gift, and, when there are no instructions or awkward packaging, the recipient will wax poetic for 10 minutes about how the sweater reminds them of their deceased grandmother’s beloved cocker spaniel, etc. My husband agrees it is out of hand, but we don’t know how to politely speed things along. Any advice, or do we just need to keep quiet?

This year you two should insist going first. Then give each other Fitbits, put them on, explain how you both are so excited about getting into better shape that you’re going to use them right now—then sprint out the door and don’t return until the excruciating performance-art project “Endless Unwrapping” is done. Your husband needs to have a talk with his parents and say the gift exchange needs to be speeded along, that an hour is more than sufficient (insanely so) for this, and he’ll be in charge of keeping things moving. If your in-laws insist on this torturous ritual, it’s perfectly fine for you two to say you’ve got to stretch your legs, then don’t make a return appearance until it’s time for lunch.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/12/dear-prudence-family-holiday-advice.html

Ask a Manager: Update: "How much should we compromise for a dog phobic coworker in a dog office?"

[minoanmiss]

[brief background: company had already hired Jane. Company moved to dog-friendly building and thus announced to employees that dogs could come in. Jane has a dog phobia.]

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(Also, remember the haunted hotel letter? There's an update to that one in the same post.

(no subject)

[conuly]

Our kids (4 and 6) have gotten really close to our new neighbor’s kids, who are 5-year-old twins. The family is Jewish, and we are big Santa people at my house. Obviously they are not!

None of them have said anything about Santa not being real (I think their parents are careful about that), but would it be incredibly rude to ask their parents to tell their kids to play along a bit? I just don’t want our kids to say “What did Santa bring you?” and to hear “Nothing”; I think it would be confusing and upsetting for them. But I don’t want to be rude or insensitive.

—Jingle Bells

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