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Dear Prudie: Baby Showers
Aug. 30th, 2010 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceretaDear Prudence,
My younger sister is expecting her first child this fall. She recently completed her baby registries at two stores and told me to check them out. I was stunned. She has seemingly put every item in both stores on the list. She is having four showers thrown for her (all by eager, happy hosts), so I think that's the reason for all of the excess. I have kids of my own, and I know that they require a lot of stuff. But she's registered for just about everything that this child will need until he or she turns 3 years old—including a toddler bed. I'm embarrassed for her, and I think this looks greedy, especially since they are comfortable financially. I love her dearly, and I don't want to upset her, but should I speak up about this?
—Excited Auntie-To-Be
Dear Excited,
I'm not sure someone who thinks expelling a small person entitles her to receive everything in the warehouse at Buy Buy Baby is going to be amenable to being instructed on the value of holding back. I agree she is embarrassing herself, but showers can make some people's judgment mushy, and you need to be very sure of your relationship with her before you wade into this one. It's ludicrous for her to expect her loved ones to furnish all the furniture and everything else she'll need for the first years of her baby's life. More than that, she should be pulling the plug on at least two of the showers. If she has four separate guest lists, then she's hitting up people who aren't close enough friends; if she is inviting people to more than one shower, then she's going to get a reputation for avariciousness. You can gently try to tell her all this: "Kristie, everyone is so excited about your pregnancy, but maybe your friends should consolidate the celebrations into two events, so it doesn't seem as if they're going over the top." But be prepared for her to blow her top and accuse you of being a cheap, jealous sister and lousy aunt-to-be.
—Prudie
My younger sister is expecting her first child this fall. She recently completed her baby registries at two stores and told me to check them out. I was stunned. She has seemingly put every item in both stores on the list. She is having four showers thrown for her (all by eager, happy hosts), so I think that's the reason for all of the excess. I have kids of my own, and I know that they require a lot of stuff. But she's registered for just about everything that this child will need until he or she turns 3 years old—including a toddler bed. I'm embarrassed for her, and I think this looks greedy, especially since they are comfortable financially. I love her dearly, and I don't want to upset her, but should I speak up about this?
—Excited Auntie-To-Be
Dear Excited,
I'm not sure someone who thinks expelling a small person entitles her to receive everything in the warehouse at Buy Buy Baby is going to be amenable to being instructed on the value of holding back. I agree she is embarrassing herself, but showers can make some people's judgment mushy, and you need to be very sure of your relationship with her before you wade into this one. It's ludicrous for her to expect her loved ones to furnish all the furniture and everything else she'll need for the first years of her baby's life. More than that, she should be pulling the plug on at least two of the showers. If she has four separate guest lists, then she's hitting up people who aren't close enough friends; if she is inviting people to more than one shower, then she's going to get a reputation for avariciousness. You can gently try to tell her all this: "Kristie, everyone is so excited about your pregnancy, but maybe your friends should consolidate the celebrations into two events, so it doesn't seem as if they're going over the top." But be prepared for her to blow her top and accuse you of being a cheap, jealous sister and lousy aunt-to-be.
—Prudie