Two letters to Carolyn Hax

[conuly]

1. Dear Carolyn: My daughter-in-law-to-be, “Jennifer,” has been cool to me, and I’ve wondered why. My son said he hadn’t noticed anything. I think I figured it out, and it’s all a misunderstanding.

I always thought Jennifer was divorced from the father of her 5-year-old, but I just found out she never was married.

I think she overheard me talking with my sister at a recent party about a 20-year-old girl we know who is having a baby. We agreed it was a shame that thoughtless, careless people procreate without intention, without marriage and without adequate income when it is so easy to prevent. It could have looked as if we were describing Jennifer — she got pregnant in college — but we definitely were not.

Should I address this misunderstanding with her, or hope it blows over?

— Misunderstood

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2. Dear Carolyn: I am in the middle of a divorce, and my 13-year-old son is being, frankly, a brat about it. I get that divorce is hard on kids, but it’s hard on the adults, too, and I’m losing my patience with him.

The big issue right now is we have both agreed that we will allow him to decide whom he’s going to live with during the week (he’ll live with the other on weekends). This decision needs to be made soon, and he is flat-out refusing to decide. My soon-to-be ex and I are both at a loss on how to get a decision out of him. Any suggestions?

— Divorcing

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(no subject)

[conuly]

My house sits on a cul-de-sac. Most of my neighbors are retirees or young families. As a result, the street is treated as a playground, with the kids constantly out and leaving their crap in the road. My house is the one with the steepest drive and I can’t tell you the number of times I had to tell the kids to stop playing in my driveway and watch out because my truck doesn’t have a backup camera. I chalked it up as an ordinary annoyance, until my neighbor across the way started to close off the entire street with cones and “kids at play” signs. Meaning it is an entire ordeal if I have to run errands or want to get take out. It takes forever to get the kids and all their stuff out of the road, and my neighbors treat it as a giant favor to get them to clear the road. I am usually a live-and-let-live guy, but there is literally a park two miles away. I have already spoken several times with my neighbors about the issue but it still happens. We do have an HOA, and I am really tempted to throw the entire issue out at the next meeting. Can I get some advice?

—Street Side

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