Carolyn Hax: Husband sleeps in a backyard tent after spouse ‘quit having sex’

[swingandswirl]

This is a doozy, y'all.

Dear Carolyn: A few years ago, I quit having sex with my husband. For a while, he slept on the couch, but now he’s taken to sleeping in a tent in the backyard — even in the dead of winter! It’s so embarrassing. I’ve begged him to sleep inside, but he says he likes sleeping in the fresh air. I’m sure all our neighbors are talking about how he’s sleeping like a cave man. How can I make him come to his senses and sleep like a human being?

 

— It’s Just Tacky

( What even is this answer? )

 

Try it this way: You have what you want, and he has what he wants. Your neighbors, assuming they even care, have something to titillate them for about five minutes, if that.

 

The meaningless pains and nuisances set in motion by fears that something was “tacky” or “embarrassing” or “sure” to be gossiped about would fill enough tents end-to-end to wrap the globe like a nylon mummy.

 

So give it a rest, for that reason alone.

 

And remember that you, it seems unilaterally, are the one who cut off a supply of physical affection that many regard as emotionally sustaining. So while halves of couples always have that prerogative — bodily autonomy is paramount — you were able to do this with a peaceable level of acceptance from your husband.

 

To now be yammering at him for the way he chose to accept it? Don’t even try to pass that off as okay.

 

Readers’ thoughts:

· “Tacky”? I really, really hope that was a troll.

 

· Does he take snacks in there? Watch movies on a laptop or iPad? How big of a tent are we talking about? This sounds like a DREAM situation, and the rest of my afternoon will be spent on tent research.