(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband for almost 43 years. We haven't had sex in more than 10 years. He is a nasty drunk, which has grown worse. He is emotionally abusive and calls me lazy and fat.

He hurt his right shoulder three years ago and refused to seek medical attention for it. Two years ago, he had all his teeth extracted. Since then, he has lost at least 50 pounds, which, unfortunately, I seem to have gained. He drinks until he's falling-down drunk at least twice a week, and he then becomes nasty with me and our daughter. What should I do? -- HOPELESS IN TEXAS

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(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: I have been married for 32 years to my husband, who has three children from his prior marriage. The children are now in their mid-30s to early 40s.

We were all a big happy family until about four years ago. The middle child called to tell us that we were both bad parents. I asked her to tell us why she felt that way. She said she would call us back to explain, but that never happened.

We would have liked to have communicated about whatever she was holding onto to move past this issue. Her dad could not get her to communicate the problem. We are so confused as to what she is thinking or feeling. We do not do any illegal drugs or drink alcohol; we brought these children up in church. We gave them a loving, fun home while they grew up. Their mother was very vindictive and untruthful to them about their father. Regardless, we would counteract this with being open and honest about our life with them.

No matter what we do, the two oldest daughters and our grandchildren refuse to have anything to do with us. The youngest son does call his dad about two times a year, but he has an issue with me. None of them will talk to us, no matter what we do. Cards we have mailed saying we love you, let's get through this together without any judgment, result in no response.

We have asked our daughter-in-law, a social worker, to try to get the ball rolling on our behalf, but she doesn't want to get in the middle. We have also offered counseling that we would pay for to overcome the problem(s). -- Confused in Michigan

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