(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Care and Feeding,

When I was a kid, I did poorly in school. My parents insisted I was lazy and didn’t want to try so I struggled for many years because they thought tutors and other special assistance were a waste of money. As soon as I got a job with my own insurance, I got myself tested and found out I had a severe learning disability. My parents denied the diagnosis, but I really didn’t care. Fast forward to today, and my husband and I found out one of our kids has the same learning disability that I do. Even though I’ve put my parents on the strictest information diet for the last 30 years, it doesn’t matter. My mother gets very upset when she learns that my kid is getting medication or seeing a specialist or getting any accommodation because she’s convinced he doesn’t need it—that he, like me, is poorly behaved and needs to be “brought to heel.” She thinks I spoil my kid, and I need to be restrictive. My parents are on a different coast, thank God, but we can’t hide the medication or references to something my kid has to deal with forever. I’m not sure what else to do here. I know I’m doing the right thing, and nothing she says will stop me. I just want her to shut up about it, but despite my best attempts, she insists she’s right.

—You Already Had Your Chance, Mom

( Read more... )

(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Care and Feeding,

My 5-year-old son, who is (like me) white, won’t stop saying the N-word. He seems to have picked it up at school from one of his Black friends. We’ve taken the usual steps, explained that this is a bad word, put him in time-out, and taken away toys and devices, but he continues to say it. We’ve never spanked our kids, but I think this warrants it. My wife disagrees. I don’t see any other options. I don’t want to spank him without my wife’s approval, but I think she is out of line here. Am I crazy?

—Don’t Want to be the Father of a Racist

( Read more... )