Dear Abby: Man take mean pictures of wife

[cereta]

DEAR ABBY: I'm an older woman. My husband and I have been married eight years but were together 15 years prior to our marriage. He is a wonderful, caring man in most ways. But from time to time, he snaps extremely unflattering photos of me, sends them to everyone we know and even orders enlargements made for me.

I have a mouth condition that makes smiling painful, so unless I know a picture is being taken, I look really old and grumpy. I have asked him PLEASE not to do this because it's humiliating when he sends them out to friends and family members. I think it's unkind and disrespectful and have told him so, yet he persists.

I'm to the point that this has become a deal-breaker in our marriage, and he knows it. He claims he loves me and is proud of me. And yes, we have been to counseling about our relationship in general because of the many times he has humiliated me in public. But he won't stop. How can I handle this going forward? -- HUMILIATED AND HURTING

DEAR HUMILIATED: It appears your "wonderful, caring" husband has a mean streak. He's getting his kicks by embarrassing you. One way to handle it going forward would be to ignore him when he does it. It won't be easy, but when he realizes he can't get the desired reaction from you, he may do it less often. Another way to deal with it would be to discuss privately with a licensed therapist whether his behavior really has become a deal-breaker. The choice is yours.

Ask Amy: My wife goes into slow motion any time we’re trying to make a flight

[petrea_mitchell]

Dear Amy: My wife and I are lucky in semi-retirement to have a cabin in the mountains, a two-hour flight away. We visit this property about once a month.

We also take a two-week vacation in Europe each year.

The problem: I like to be at the airport with time to spare, so I don’t mind sitting for even an hour before boarding. My wife, on the other hand, loves to cut it close. It’s like she goes into slow motion at home the day of the flight.

She seems to find a million last-minute things to do. I always volunteer to help get them done.

We have missed one flight outright and at least three or four others each year are nail biters (we leave the luggage in the car in order to make the flight!).

We solved a monthly family gathering issue of how long to stay by taking separate cars. I can leave after two hours, she can stay four or five, but a solution to the flying issue eludes us.

One of us can’t really get on a plane without the other.

After the missed flight she did better for a time, but my nails are getting shorter again!

Your advice?

– Nail Biter

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