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Jun. 15th, 2023 02:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Prudence,
I’m a college student and I’m about to graduate. I’m very excited about this, but I’m writing to you about a friend I made in school. She’s really kind, and the smartest person I know, but she’s severely lacking in social skills. She was homeschooled in a rural area, and her house doesn’t have the internet, so her pop culture knowledge is basically zero. She still lives with her parents, and commutes an hour each way to school daily. She has the political opinions of my Mom, i.e. the type of white middle-class lady who is totally incapable of seeing any flaws with the Obama presidency and generally seems stuck around that era of social understanding. Like she took my coming out as bisexual with grace, but I’ve had to explain pronouns to her. Several times. But I think she understands now, and she is genuinely a really nice and smart person.
Anyway, she’s looking at attending medical school after graduation, and she definitely has the grades for it. I thought this was great, and when we were discussing after graduation plans, she mentioned that she was going to take the year to apply to med schools and take the M-CAT. I put her into contact with Sarah, another friend of mine who was planning on doing the same, as I figured they could study together and look over each other’s applications or something. I think I felt a little guilty because I had a job lined up after school and I was moving several hours away, and I wanted her to have a friend that wasn’t her mom. So maybe I put too much pressure on it, but now I’m in a pickle, because Sarah recently told me that my friend has no chance of getting into med school and she didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. Apparently Sarah thinks that my friend is incredibly smart, and definitely has the grades for med school, but that she’s never going to get past the interview stage because she’s so socially stunted. Sarah had to explain the Fentanyl crisis to her, which I agree is definitely something a potential doctor should be aware of.
My friend has the same knowledge of drugs as my Mom as well; I’ve taken her to the clubs a few times so she has drunk alcohol (she dressed like a time traveler from 1990 and didn’t know any of the music), but I never would’ve smoked a joint with her.
What is my duty to my friend here? I don’t want to discourage her dreams in any way, but Sarah literally said that if she were a patient she would never trust my friend because she’s so sheltered and generally naive that she wouldn’t be relatable to patients. And honestly, I kind of agree, but I was assuming that moving out of her parents’ house would solve that issue. I don’t want to say anything, but Sarah says that if I don’t, she will, and I’d hate to have Sarah break the news to her in such an abrasive way. Especially if she lets it slip that she talked to me first. So do I stay silent and hope that Sarah does as well, or do I try to deliver the message in a kind manner?
—Straight A’s but No Street Smarts
( Read more... )
I’m a college student and I’m about to graduate. I’m very excited about this, but I’m writing to you about a friend I made in school. She’s really kind, and the smartest person I know, but she’s severely lacking in social skills. She was homeschooled in a rural area, and her house doesn’t have the internet, so her pop culture knowledge is basically zero. She still lives with her parents, and commutes an hour each way to school daily. She has the political opinions of my Mom, i.e. the type of white middle-class lady who is totally incapable of seeing any flaws with the Obama presidency and generally seems stuck around that era of social understanding. Like she took my coming out as bisexual with grace, but I’ve had to explain pronouns to her. Several times. But I think she understands now, and she is genuinely a really nice and smart person.
Anyway, she’s looking at attending medical school after graduation, and she definitely has the grades for it. I thought this was great, and when we were discussing after graduation plans, she mentioned that she was going to take the year to apply to med schools and take the M-CAT. I put her into contact with Sarah, another friend of mine who was planning on doing the same, as I figured they could study together and look over each other’s applications or something. I think I felt a little guilty because I had a job lined up after school and I was moving several hours away, and I wanted her to have a friend that wasn’t her mom. So maybe I put too much pressure on it, but now I’m in a pickle, because Sarah recently told me that my friend has no chance of getting into med school and she didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. Apparently Sarah thinks that my friend is incredibly smart, and definitely has the grades for med school, but that she’s never going to get past the interview stage because she’s so socially stunted. Sarah had to explain the Fentanyl crisis to her, which I agree is definitely something a potential doctor should be aware of.
My friend has the same knowledge of drugs as my Mom as well; I’ve taken her to the clubs a few times so she has drunk alcohol (she dressed like a time traveler from 1990 and didn’t know any of the music), but I never would’ve smoked a joint with her.
What is my duty to my friend here? I don’t want to discourage her dreams in any way, but Sarah literally said that if she were a patient she would never trust my friend because she’s so sheltered and generally naive that she wouldn’t be relatable to patients. And honestly, I kind of agree, but I was assuming that moving out of her parents’ house would solve that issue. I don’t want to say anything, but Sarah says that if I don’t, she will, and I’d hate to have Sarah break the news to her in such an abrasive way. Especially if she lets it slip that she talked to me first. So do I stay silent and hope that Sarah does as well, or do I try to deliver the message in a kind manner?
—Straight A’s but No Street Smarts
( Read more... )