Ask a Manager: My new job requires me to take an oath of allegiance

[ermingarden]

(#5 at the link.)

I am a PhD student graduating this summer, and I have just signed on to a fantastic job that I am really excited about. I’m moving from the east coast to California, where I will work for the University of California with my salary paid by a federal grant.
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Ask a Manager: Active Shooter Drills

[cereta]

( I don't feel like 'trigger' is the right word, here. )

(no subject)

[conuly]

My former partner and I created intimate photographs together when we were a couple. We have since broken up. My ex has now asked me to delete those images. I would prefer not to. I enjoy looking at them, and they are password protected. What’s more, my ex has kept copies of these photographs, too. Doesn’t that make the request to delete them seem like a double standard and unfair?

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(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for five years, with two children. I have been putting my hands on her in such a bad way that she's saying we are no longer a family and she wants a divorce. I need my wife and children back. It hurts me to stay away.

I'm currently going to church and Sunday school and Bible study. I have been praying many hours these past few weeks, and it is helping me. I will do anything and everything I can to get my family back because I don't want to lose them. What can I do to get them back? -- LEARNING A LESSON IN NEVADA

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(no subject)

[conuly]

This letter is a response to this one: https://www.adn.com/alaska-life/advice/2023/02/02/dear-annie-struggling-to-rebuild-family-after-ugly-divorce/

Dear Annie: "Still Sad's" story is almost my story. I didn't know I was in an abusive marriage until I got out of it. That means our two children grew up in a home where they saw and heard things that shouldn't have been seen and, essentially, had traumatized childhoods. Materialistically, they had everything. The last thing in the world I thought would happen after the divorce was my children would divorce me. I thought I was integral in their lives.

At first, I was confused by the estrangements. They were carrying on close relationships with their father, the wife-beater and attempted murderer. I said nothing about him to them. Then, years rolled by. I had to learn to live without them in my life. One of them actually lived two miles from me; the others would visit and have holidays with each other, without me. My only daughter told me I was not invited to her wedding, a lavish affair with friends and family flying in from all over the country. She had two babies without so much as an announcement.

It's true, I had a part in it all, we always do, but it doesn't mean I was a bad person. It's hard to even know what they attributed as my part. I continued to send them birthday and Christmas cards. After 10 years of silence, my son contacted me. He'd seen some light, and I welcomed him back with open arms. Four years later, he was dead from fentanyl. He never did the work he needed to do from his childhood issues.

Recently, after not talking to or seeing my daughter for 12 years, we got together, so I got to meet my grandchildren. She gave me a reason that has no merit and knocked my socks off -- but it's what she tells herself to justify her behavior.

I can't control any of it. I am loved and respected by my friends and peers. It has to be enough. I've had to learn to not expect anything I imagined my life would look like and create something different. I suggest that "Still Sad" find information on estranged parents and children. She should read Dr. Joshua Coleman's work or Sheri McGregor's "Done With the Crying." "Still Sad," you are not alone. It is much more common than one would think. -- Sad but Still Living

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