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Whole man disposal pileup!
May. 25th, 2022 02:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conuly1. DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a Gemini, and boy does he act like one. He treats me so nicely when we are in public. But the moment we get home or out of earshot of other people, he is mean and nasty. It's kind of shocking how he behaves.
We just went to an event, and he was so sweet and kind to me and everyone else. I thought to myself how lovely our evening was. Then, when we were at home, he was watching TV, and he mentioned something to me about what he was watching. When I asked him to clarify what he meant, he yelled at me that he had already answered in the most venomous tone ever. At first I was taken aback. Then I realized there was no audience. He could go back to being his secretly mean self. I can't stand it. Whenever I point it out, he dismisses it, saying I am too sensitive. I don't want to live like this. -- Two-Faced
( Don't blame the stars, blame him )
2. DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I got into an explosive fight the other night over what is happening with Roe V. Wade. I had never asked – or thought to ask him – his thoughts on abortion. We’ve been together almost a year and we don’t talk politics much. But, the other night I was expressing how scared I am at the thought of it being overturned. He went on this long rant about women and abortion and being “pro-life.” It was actually hard to listen to him discuss how I basically don’t have the right over my own body. I flipped out and left the room. He’s been texting me all week, but I am having a hard time getting that conversation out of my head. He has apologized, but how can I be with someone who thinks so little of me? My sister told me I should just forgive him and move forward, but how can I? This feels like a big hurdle to me. Any advice? –HARD TO UNDERSTAND
( One year is too long to date somebody without asking how they feel about abortion )
3. DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 35-year-old woman who is married to a man four years older than me. Within a year of landing my first high-paying job, I was unfortunately laid off due to budget cuts. The day that I lost my job, I told my husband that I would need him to support me until I get back on my feet; my severance pay would last us only a few months. He hesitantly agreed to continue paying half of the rent and to help out with my student loan payments, but he told me that I'll need to figure out how to pay for everything else (my personal needs, gas, etc.). His hesitance is what bothered me the most. My husband makes more than me -- and always has. I should be able to lean on him at a time like this. My friends and family all agree that his wavering support is cause for worry. When I'm back on my feet, would it be ridiculous to consider separating? -- Unsupportive
( WTF, of course this is grounds for divorce )
4. DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked my husband to go to therapy with me, and you would have thought I had told him the Earth is flat. He looked at me incredulously and shook his head. He used to go to therapy before we met -- for years! I thought of him as a progressive person, as someone who is proactive about taking care of himself, inside and out. But after we met (many years ago), he said that was that, and he didn’t need therapy anymore.
My husband and I have fought about all kinds of things over the years. Whenever I address how he talks to me -- which I think is often rude and dismissive -- he blows it off, saying I am too sensitive. If I push back, everything escalates, and it turns into a screaming match. So I usually just swallow it. But I’m tired of doing that. I want things to be better, and I can’t figure out how to deal with it alone. We need help. How can I get him to go to counseling? -- Need Help
( You should not attend therapy with somebody who hurts you, so no great loss. Go to solo therapy )
We just went to an event, and he was so sweet and kind to me and everyone else. I thought to myself how lovely our evening was. Then, when we were at home, he was watching TV, and he mentioned something to me about what he was watching. When I asked him to clarify what he meant, he yelled at me that he had already answered in the most venomous tone ever. At first I was taken aback. Then I realized there was no audience. He could go back to being his secretly mean self. I can't stand it. Whenever I point it out, he dismisses it, saying I am too sensitive. I don't want to live like this. -- Two-Faced
( Don't blame the stars, blame him )
2. DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I got into an explosive fight the other night over what is happening with Roe V. Wade. I had never asked – or thought to ask him – his thoughts on abortion. We’ve been together almost a year and we don’t talk politics much. But, the other night I was expressing how scared I am at the thought of it being overturned. He went on this long rant about women and abortion and being “pro-life.” It was actually hard to listen to him discuss how I basically don’t have the right over my own body. I flipped out and left the room. He’s been texting me all week, but I am having a hard time getting that conversation out of my head. He has apologized, but how can I be with someone who thinks so little of me? My sister told me I should just forgive him and move forward, but how can I? This feels like a big hurdle to me. Any advice? –HARD TO UNDERSTAND
( One year is too long to date somebody without asking how they feel about abortion )
3. DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 35-year-old woman who is married to a man four years older than me. Within a year of landing my first high-paying job, I was unfortunately laid off due to budget cuts. The day that I lost my job, I told my husband that I would need him to support me until I get back on my feet; my severance pay would last us only a few months. He hesitantly agreed to continue paying half of the rent and to help out with my student loan payments, but he told me that I'll need to figure out how to pay for everything else (my personal needs, gas, etc.). His hesitance is what bothered me the most. My husband makes more than me -- and always has. I should be able to lean on him at a time like this. My friends and family all agree that his wavering support is cause for worry. When I'm back on my feet, would it be ridiculous to consider separating? -- Unsupportive
( WTF, of course this is grounds for divorce )
4. DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked my husband to go to therapy with me, and you would have thought I had told him the Earth is flat. He looked at me incredulously and shook his head. He used to go to therapy before we met -- for years! I thought of him as a progressive person, as someone who is proactive about taking care of himself, inside and out. But after we met (many years ago), he said that was that, and he didn’t need therapy anymore.
My husband and I have fought about all kinds of things over the years. Whenever I address how he talks to me -- which I think is often rude and dismissive -- he blows it off, saying I am too sensitive. If I push back, everything escalates, and it turns into a screaming match. So I usually just swallow it. But I’m tired of doing that. I want things to be better, and I can’t figure out how to deal with it alone. We need help. How can I get him to go to counseling? -- Need Help
( You should not attend therapy with somebody who hurts you, so no great loss. Go to solo therapy )