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ceretaDear Carolyn: I am an 82-year-old woman in good health and living independently. I have two grown kids living 15 to 20 minutes away. We all have a good relationship, but I see them infrequently, and they call maybe once or twice a week. I want more. I have friends and a fairly active social life, but I want more from my kids.
I think it is not too much to ask that each one make it a point to see me once a month. I have dropped hints but nothing has changed. I have not come right out to ask for what I want because I think if they do not visit willingly it will cause resentment, so what's the point. Your thoughts?
— H.
H.: One thought: By waiting for them to read your mind, you’re getting the resentment anyway, without any visits to show for it.
Just say what you want, please: “I’d love to set up a standing visit — say, every first Sunday. How does that sound?”
I think it is not too much to ask that each one make it a point to see me once a month. I have dropped hints but nothing has changed. I have not come right out to ask for what I want because I think if they do not visit willingly it will cause resentment, so what's the point. Your thoughts?
— H.
H.: One thought: By waiting for them to read your mind, you’re getting the resentment anyway, without any visits to show for it.
Just say what you want, please: “I’d love to set up a standing visit — say, every first Sunday. How does that sound?”