Stuck in the Suburbs (Dear Prudence)

[legionseagle]

Q. Stuck in the suburbs: My husband is a good man and I love him. He loves me unconditionally, he supports my goals, and he’s always compassionate to others. But he’s neurodiverse and that makes things difficult for me. When we first got together, he masked so well I had no idea until we left our hometown. I realized his neurodiversity impacted his ability to function. I thought once we got married, he’d be on my insurance and go to the doctor. He’s had issues with every health professional so far. He self-medicates, which helps some, but it’s not enough. I feel like I’m the only adult in the relationship. It’s hard to talk to him about these things because then he feels ashamed. I’ve noticed that all of his neurodiverse quirks tend to be my pet peeves. I feel like I’m obligated to help him because he left our hometown to follow my career. He can’t go back because it’s not a legalized state. I work full-time and am a graduate student. He’s a homemaker but his neurodiversity prevents him from keeping up with the home. I feel like my life is a mess. I don’t enjoy things anymore. I feel like I’m taking care of a child. I also feel like a bad person for feeling this way. I’m doing my best but it’s all getting to me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

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