Ask A Manager: My Office Won't Call Me Lord

[minoanmiss]

#3My Company Won't Call Me Doctor Or Lord

I was hoping that you could help me with a question I have regarding the use of honorifics in workplace documentation. I have recently acquired a new honorific, and my employers are refusing to use it on the documents that I have requested it be used on. I have legal documents that also show that my title is a fully legal one and can be used on official government documents up to and including my passport. Is there anything that I can do to get my employers to use it?

Specifically, I have a doctorate and I am also legally a Lord, meaning that I should therefore legally be entitled to either go by Lord LastName or Dr LastName. My employer has already referred to me as Lord LastName in several documents as well as Dr LastName in others, but they are now refusing to use either of them in any documents and on a display board that displays pictures of members of staff and their names underneath for visitors to familiarize themselves with. My passport actually also has my name as Lord FirstName LastName, which irks me that it can be used on important legal documents and yet, my employer refuses to acknowledge it.

It’s up to your employer to decide which honorifics they use across the board. If they use Doctor for other people with non-medical doctorates but not for you, you have a valid objection. If they don’t use it for anyone, that’s a choice about their culture that they’re allowed to make. The same goes for Lord.

I’m guessing you’re not in the U.S. and I can’t speak to how this would play in another country’s culture, but I can tell you that in the U.S. continuing to push for this would mark you as out-of-touch and pompous. I’d let it drop.

Captain Awkward:

[cereta]

Note: The original has a lot of bold text and other formatting that I don't really have the energy to recreate. See the original if you want the formatting: https://captainawkward.com/2020/09/28/1292-my-creep-sister-is-screen-capping-my-queer-childs-social-media-posts-and-sending-it-to-our-conservative-parents-how-to-draw-a-boundary-without-outing-my-kid/

( Homophobia, outing, concern trolling, and length )

Ask Amy: Prospective parents worry about racist relatives

[conuly]

Dear Amy: My brother’s wife has been posting a lot of racist content and wild conspiracy theories to her social media accounts.

My husband and I have asked her to reconsider her positions, but she has doubled down (more than once) and asserted her right “as a white Christian” to say these things. My niece (16) said, “Eew. I’d never be friends with a black person.”

My brother told me that they would never apologize for their beliefs.

My husband and I are beginning the journey of becoming foster parents. In our area, 62 percent of children in foster care are children of color. We've told my parents that we need to cut contact with my brother's family. My mother is pushing me to let them "set the record straight.”

I’m not comfortable forcing children of color to interact with them, knowing the kind of hate they hold in their hearts. I’m not comfortable with them around white children we might foster, either. My parents refuse to accept this, and so we are currently not speaking to them, either.

Do I owe my brother’s family yet another chance to explain themselves? Even if they promise to stop publicly stating these racist things, how can I trust them to be kind to children of color in my care? How can I have a relationship with my parents, even if I can’t have one with my brother?

— Trying to Do the Right Thing

( Read more... )