(no subject)

[conuly]

I am a supporter of trans rights and refer to trans or nonbinary persons by their preferred pronouns. Recently, however, a family member stated that everyone must use the pronoun ‘‘they’’ with her even though she does not identify as trans or nonbinary. When I asked her why, she said she chooses to use ‘‘they’’ in solidarity with trans and nonbinary persons.

I am having trouble with this because it seems to require that I, and everyone else, join her in her particular form of activism, rather than a request that I respect her identity. If I hung a poster saying ‘‘Black Lives Matter’’ in my window, I would not be within my rights to demand that everyone else do so as well. But I am torn, because I have a general policy of calling people what they ask to be called, whether that is using particular pronouns, nicknames or titles. — Name Withheld

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