(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wealthy sister is questioning my parenting style, leaving me frustrated. Just a year older than me, she married into money. While we had enough growing up, we wouldn't have considered ourselves rich.

During my sister's birthday, my daughter and husband met my extremely spoiled niece and nephew. I hate to judge children, but there's no other way to describe these kids. Yesterday we all went shopping. My sister kept offering to buy my daughter things, but I repeatedly refused. She made annoying remarks, insisting it didn't matter because she could afford it and it's necessary to give children everything they want. However, my priority is teaching my daughter financial responsibility, moderation and patience.

This situation has caused tension between my sister and me. I tried talking to her about it, but it seems my points are not getting across. I'm not sure what the next approach should be. -- Parenting Style

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(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: I have a very dear friend who I adore greatly, and I would never want to hurt her feelings. For about a month now, I've noticed she has a rather large hair growing on her chin. I notice it, so I am sure others do also. I can't believe her husband has not pointed it out.

The obvious question is, should I tell her? The last thing I want to do is embarrass her or otherwise make her feel bad. I would want someone to tell me. I have even given my husband firm instructions to inform me if I am ever in such a situation. Any advice? -- Hairy Situation

( Seriously, Annie? )

(no subject)

[conuly]

( Homophobia )

(no subject)

[conuly]

DEAR ABBY: I am the 18-year-old daughter (and third child) of parents who are going through a divorce after being together for 36 years. I need your insight on this because I am unsure.

My father has always craved physical love and affection, whereas my mom is more like a cat who prefers separation and independence. Even with these differences, things used to be good between them. That was until Mom decided she wanted to stop having sex due to her age and no longer enjoying it. (She also quit drinking, which he didn't like.)

My father was very upset with this and claimed it was abuse if she didn't make love with him, since "that's how people show love." He also stated she should "be more fun" by drinking with him. Mom tried to keep the family at peace and be the person he wanted her to be for a few years, but finally decided she could no longer do it. He moved on very quickly -- my father is already with another woman, even though he and Mom aren't officially divorced yet.

I've always taken my mom's side, but this has caused my relationship with Dad to dwindle significantly. He claims I am part of the reason the divorce is happening, since I "make her feel like what she's doing is OK." Should I see his perspective as well? -- TEEN OF DIVORCE IN CALIFORNIA

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(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Care and Feeding,

My older half-sister never forgave our dad for having the audacity to remarry and have me. Her parents divorced when she was a baby; we are nine years apart.

I have vivid memories of her pinching me and pulling my hair when I was small. I used to hide in my parents’ room when she came over. I remember being 10 and screaming at our father that my “sister” wished my mother and I were dead, that she thought the world would be better off for it. My parents would later excuse my sister’s behavior as the result of her mother’s mental illness and abusiveness to her. Well, apparently that runs in the family. My half-sister spent my teens and early 20s doing a lot of drugs; she spent some time in prison. The only time she seemed to want anything to do with us was when she wanted to try and weasel money out of our father. The stress nearly ended my parents’ marriage.

Now it seems that she has sobered up and found God. She has been talking to our father and he is very eager to “make us a real family finally.” I don’t want her in my life. I don’t want to have anything to do with her. She is a stranger who happens to share some of my DNA. I love my father, but his other daughter had years and years to make any moves toward being my sister. That ship has sailed and sunk. How do I tell him that when he wants so badly for me to be a part of his repaired relationship with her?

—Only Child

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