Christmas redux

[ysobel]

[I wish this answer had been the other way around, starting with "you don't have to do Christmas to bring joy to winter" and then adding a P.S. about commercial Christmas. Right now it reads more like "Do Christmas or something similar, or you're a miserable person"...]

Dear Amy: My husband and I are atheists. We are getting some pushback from family members because we have decided not to celebrate Christmas. We have a young child who seemed a little confused about why Santa wasn’t going to visit our house, but we don’t want to push religious messages in our household. We’d like a second (really a sixth or seventh) opinion.

— Atheist Parents

Parents: For many people, Christmas is more a commercial celebration than a religious one. If you wanted to, it would be possible to do the whole Christmas shebang without ever delving into any Christian thought or belief. (Yes, most of us know that Saint Nicholas was a Christian saint, but Santa Claus is a jolly reindeer pilot.) And you don’t have to welcome Santa into your household to enjoy your own traditions at Christmastime, based more around the winter solstice than Jesus’ birth. You could research worldwide winter celebrations, and design your own.

Bringing light, laughter, and the joys of baking and decorating into the household when the days are short and the nights long and dark is a great way to celebrate the passing of the seasons.

It's a freaking soap opera, so what're the odds this is a fabricated letter?

[conuly]

Dear Amy: I am involved in a very messy situation. I had an affair with a married man 33 years older (I am 25, he is 58).

I didn’t go out looking for it, but one thing led to another. He’d been having marital problems for several years. He described his wife as being a good person but someone who is a spectator in life rather than a participant. They are like housemates who sometimes have sex, but there is zero affection. He told me she had several mental health issues, and she also was an alcoholic.

I felt we were both giving each other what we both were lacking. Love. Connection. Excitement. He said he wanted to marry me. Subsequently, my parents found out. Even though I’m 25, I’m still living at home. My dad lost it and called both him and his wife. He told her everything. She then phoned me. It became very messy. I also found out (from her) that he hadn’t necessarily told the truth about her.

We said we’d take a break because there is just too much drama. I am really heartbroken at how things turned out and over my parents meddling in my life the way they did. I wanted more time with him. I am sorry his wife found out, because I didn’t want her to be hurt. I am not a bad person, I never sought an affair, but I grew to love this man. I’m sorry that finding out about this has caused his wife to be hurt.

I don’t know what to do going forward. I just feel I can’t let him go.

— Sad and Struggling

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