Carolyn Hax: Stepmom wants to seize custody time from spouse’s breastfeeding ex

[swingandswirl]

Y'all, what even is this.

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Oct. 11, 2009.

Dear Carolyn: My husband’s ex just had a baby, making me one of few stepmothers who get to start from scratch. Because of this rare opportunity, I would like to hope we have a chance at a relationship most stepchildren don’t have with their stepparents. I would like the baby to call me “Mom” instead of “Kelly” and to view me as a third parent, not an interloper.

However, the current custody arrangement is tilted severely in the ex’s favor because she is breastfeeding. I think I will lose this special opportunity if we don’t get to spend any time with the baby till she’s a toddler. Should I urge my husband to petition for split custody?

— Anonymous

( In which the response is far more graceful than the question deserves... )