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Mar. 23rd, 2023 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
conulyDear Carolyn: For years, my oldest son and his girlfriend said they would never get married; she was against it. Then, five years ago, she relented and they got married, by all accounts happily.
They are financially secure: well-paying jobs, no debt on their advanced degrees, a rental property they own outright, a manageable mortgage on their home, late-model cars.
Indeed, my son and his wife have worked hard, but we and the in-laws have also provided our ongoing support.
But there is a rub: Our daughter-in-law steadfastly refuses to consider having children — and our son stands by her decision.
Her reason — or the reason they are standing behind — is climate change. In her opinion, it would be the height of cruelty to bring a child into a world that faces such an apocalyptic and nihilistic future.
I will grant you that our country has this and other major problems. But there is an existential question here: What have my and my wife’s lives amounted to, if we have not inculcated a basic will to survive to the next generation?
To make matters more complicated, they channel all their time and energy into biking, hiking, rock-climbing, kayaking, etc. We despair that our younger children will make the same lifestyle choices — especially under the influence of their older sibling.
To many observers, it would seem our kids have been spoiled. And on some level, that is true. But the urge to face an uncertain future and procreate in the face of adversity is supposed to be part of the human condition.
Every generation faces some dire threat. My father’s generation was told to go shoot Hitler. My generation learned to “duck and cover” to avoid nuclear annihilation. How can climate change be worse? Any advice?
— Despairing
( Read more... )
They are financially secure: well-paying jobs, no debt on their advanced degrees, a rental property they own outright, a manageable mortgage on their home, late-model cars.
Indeed, my son and his wife have worked hard, but we and the in-laws have also provided our ongoing support.
But there is a rub: Our daughter-in-law steadfastly refuses to consider having children — and our son stands by her decision.
Her reason — or the reason they are standing behind — is climate change. In her opinion, it would be the height of cruelty to bring a child into a world that faces such an apocalyptic and nihilistic future.
I will grant you that our country has this and other major problems. But there is an existential question here: What have my and my wife’s lives amounted to, if we have not inculcated a basic will to survive to the next generation?
To make matters more complicated, they channel all their time and energy into biking, hiking, rock-climbing, kayaking, etc. We despair that our younger children will make the same lifestyle choices — especially under the influence of their older sibling.
To many observers, it would seem our kids have been spoiled. And on some level, that is true. But the urge to face an uncertain future and procreate in the face of adversity is supposed to be part of the human condition.
Every generation faces some dire threat. My father’s generation was told to go shoot Hitler. My generation learned to “duck and cover” to avoid nuclear annihilation. How can climate change be worse? Any advice?
— Despairing
( Read more... )