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Q. Too Much Love for One Wedding: I’m getting married in a few weeks and my partner and I decided to do a joint wedding party because we’re queer and we’ve been together for so long, there’s a lot of friend overlap. For a medium-sized wedding, we’ve got 12 members in our wedding party.
There are a few friends who I love dearly but who didn’t make the final list. Most of it was just arbitrary, 12 feels big to me and we needed to make a cutoff. These friends aren’t coming to me upset or with accusations about it, but based on conversations, I think they’re feeling left out. We’re doing a welcome party for just friends and we’re doing drinks the day after for people still in town, but of course, it doesn’t work for everyone’s travel plans. There are also friends who we didn’t invite to the wedding at all because of venue capacity, waiting to get RSVPs from family, etc.
Any suggestions on how to let these people know I love them even if they’re not in the wedding party? Any suggestions for the people who weren’t invited at all? Not entirely sure what etiquette standards are expected or how to do right by people, while being upfront and accountable that we did make these decisions.
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There are a few friends who I love dearly but who didn’t make the final list. Most of it was just arbitrary, 12 feels big to me and we needed to make a cutoff. These friends aren’t coming to me upset or with accusations about it, but based on conversations, I think they’re feeling left out. We’re doing a welcome party for just friends and we’re doing drinks the day after for people still in town, but of course, it doesn’t work for everyone’s travel plans. There are also friends who we didn’t invite to the wedding at all because of venue capacity, waiting to get RSVPs from family, etc.
Any suggestions on how to let these people know I love them even if they’re not in the wedding party? Any suggestions for the people who weren’t invited at all? Not entirely sure what etiquette standards are expected or how to do right by people, while being upfront and accountable that we did make these decisions.