(no subject)

[conuly]

Dear Annie: My husband always punishes me and shows no interest in our relationship. He sleeps on the sofa and storms in and argues with me. He says it's because I drink too much.

Even days when I do not drink, or periods of time when I do not drink, he still does this.

I just want a loving, caring relationship. I realize my drinking is part of the problem, but I feel we are in a cycle where he punishes me and then I don't want to change. -- Unhappy Marriage

( Oh, Annie, no! )

Ask Amy: this calls for fake dating

[lemonsharks]

Ask Amy: Happily single woman dreading wedding where family will try to set her up

Dear Amy: I am a (usually content) single 30-year-old woman.

My mother is getting married in two months.

She has already tried to set me up with her fiancee’s nephew (um, no), as well as a former employee (good guy but not for me).

Now her fiancé has decided that the wedding is the perfect time to introduce me to all his single co-workers (no, just no).

Add in all the well-meaning aunties asking me when I’m going to find a “nice man and settle down.”

I’ve started to dread this day.

My solution? Take my own date.

There will be no awkward set-ups if I already have a date. I’ll still have to field inappropriate questions from the aunties, but at least I wouldn’t have to face them alone.

Four months ago, I signed up for a dating app and have since been reminded why I’m happily single.

With the wedding only two months away, do I admit defeat and go solo?

I also feel that this wedding is not the best time for any prospective match to “meet the parents.”

Your ideas?

– Destined to be Dateless


Dear Dateless: I have a dim memory of seeing this basic plot in a Debra Messing movie … what was it called? Oh yes – (checks Wikipedia) – the “Wedding Date”. Debra Messing’s character hires a male escort to be her wedding date.

Hilarity ensues. Love blooms.

The obvious solution – at least to me – is for you to bring a (male or female) friend as your date, with the expressed intent that this person should serve as your wing-person. Their role would be to ward off random singletons, and if necessary, to use a serving platter from the buffet table as a shield to protect you from nosey aunties.

No matter what – keep a sense of humor about this annoyance. Having people try to set you up may make you feel as if you are somehow inadequate as you are (you’re not), but the intent is usually benign: People who equate happiness with being coupled-up think you’re wonderful.

Your problem contains the foundation for a pretty solid romantic comedy, so after the wedding is over, you might want to write it up.

Two questions about pets

[conuly]

1. DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Both my son and his new wife were raised in homes with pets. They also grew up in homes with incomes comfortable enough to take excellent care of those pets.

Because of the pandemic, they didn’t get to have a honeymoon when they got married last year. Instead, they decided to adopt a special needs puppy, who has since required one major surgery and several minor procedures.

I am proud of the young people for being willing to take on such a challenge. But I am disappointed for them that their caring cost them their honeymoon because they used the money they had set aside for it to cover the expenses of some of the veterinary care.

My worry is that this sweet pup of theirs is going to continue to drain their finances to the point that they will have to put off the next big steps of buying a home, which they no longer seem to talk about, and for all I know, starting a family.

Is this level of devotion to a pet worth it? I never say anything, and have even sent them a little money towards the treatments when I can, but it all just seems too much. --- PET LOVERS’ MOM

( Read more... )

***************

2. DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend of three years decided that his New Year’s resolution would be a clean break from our relationship. He said that he hasn’t been happy for months and wanted “to clear the air.” I am really hurt. Also, we have a dog and two cats and he wants to keep all of the animals with him. Not only did he spring this break-up on me, but now he wants to have all the pets, too? When I told him I wanted to share the animals, he told me, “that would be weird.” Well, I think it’s weird that he thinks he can just have whatever he wants, however he wants. I’m so disgusted. My friends are telling me to just move out and move on, but our pets are like my children. I can’t and won’t just abandon them. Any ideas on how to deal with the real dog in this situation and get my pets back, too? – RUFF TIME

( Read more... )